6: Ungrateful.

144 5 0
                                    

  "Maya!" My mom called breaking my reverie.

Sigh. "What?" I say exasperated.

  "Are you coming or not?" My mom shouted from the living room. She seriously didn't have to do that. Our house is so tiny if she whispered I would have heard.

Groan. I wipe my hands and walk the two feet distance from the kitchen to the living room.

"I'm here." I say to my mother Kate.
 
  My mom looks at me with a tiny twinkle in her eyes."Maya, take a seat we need to talk."

Was I scared? No. But she rarely called me to talk. She rarely acknowledged my presence in the house. She sometimes brought strange men into the house to disturb my peace with their cries and moans of ecstasy.

  Yep, my mom was a crazy woman. Never really cared.  Sometimes I felt I was just a mistake to her.

"Mm, so?" I asked.

"Maya, I quit my job."

"What? Why? Are you that crazy?" I said, my tone a bit panicked. She was quitting her job. No big deal-if she won the lottery or something like that. It's not like what she earned could feed us a whole month. But my problem was what would she do afterwards. And I know my mom she wasn't the one to sit back  slacking.

  She tried, she was a hard worker. But she wouldn't get anything to do after she dropped out of high school to run away to get married with her delinquent wannabe rockstar- my father.

She was madly in love with him but he used her for his own pleasure. She got pregnant at 17 and he promised to stay by her, to help her go back and face her parents. He stayed with her for three years during and after her pregnancy and ran away  and never came back.

He left us at the train station in New York. He said he was calling us a cab but he never came back. I remember when my mom and I got worried and we wondered through the cold dark streets of New York looking for him. We gave up. He was never coming back.

She worked in a diner to earn some money then we rented a little house where we live. She went through everyday still hoping dad will come back but he didn't. So did I. But for a while. I am a strong girl. And I'm not letting some hope or anything soften me.

My mom was quitting her job. Fine. If she decides she's not working again. I'm alright with that. I also get a job.

  The twinkle in my mom's eyes return. "There was a guy who came to the diner today and he was putting up some posters looking for people to cast in a sitcom. So I walked up to him in the most seductive way possible-of course-"

"You didn't have to do that." I shuddered at the thought.

"Well Maya, you wouldn't know because you haven't actually tried to know what flirting does."

Ugh. I get it. I haven't kissed a boy or had a boyfriend or had a crush on someone for at least a month or flirted or whatever. But I wasn't  going to be all whore-ish for any of those experiences.

"So as I was saying I flirted and I gave him my card. I think I won him over." My mom continued. "Then he told me I had great acting skills and he was looking for someone to play the recurring role of a mistress on the show." My mom squealed with excitement. Trust my mom to be happy about playing nasty roles and hoping to get them.

"I think he thought you were auditioning when you were flirting with him."

"Well whatever he thought he still thought I could be a great actress. And oh, the audition is in Los Angeles." My mother squeals again. "I know right.
So I'll be leaving tomorrow."

I'm about to say something nasty then something she says crosses my mind. "Wait, you gave him your card?" I didn't think the diner gave them business cards. I thought they only had name tags.

"I may have ordered some business cards." She says, "Maya if I'm going to get my big break I might as well do it professionally or with class."

That what she uses her money for.

"Ok." I say flatly.

"Ok... Is that all you're going to say, no support no emotion?"

"What? You want me to hope you get the role?" I say with a trace of disgust.

"Well yeah." My mom mumbled.

"Trust me, I've hoped. It hasn't worked." I muttered.

I wasn't being rude or bitter. I wasn't being hopeful either. She's gone for some number of auditions but did she get the part? No. If she got a role on something it's either Woman#1 or she's just in the scene with a bunch of people who don't say anything.

My mothers' face softened. "She gave me a tight hug and whispered to me,"You are always so weird-no offense . But you can't tell me you're not grateful for anything. After all you're clothed and have a roof over your head. You go to school and have wonderful friends. So I can't understand why you're always acting weird and  hopeless?"

Oh wow, my mom was right. At least I have to be grateful. I can't be just going through everyday sad because I don't have hope. Besides some people haven't even eaten the whole day today and have nowhere to sleep. I was being a b*tch. I get it, not realizing anything and deciding to pretend I'm happy when I have a lot to be glad about. Typical b*tch behavior.

"You're right mom. I'm sorry, you are really great you might actually get the part. I'm hopeful ." I meant everything I said and hugged my mom tighter. "Now let's go and pack. You're going to L.A."

A Bleak Kind Of Happy.Where stories live. Discover now