Too Shy to Say Yes

Chapter 18

****Kayla's POV****

Ugh, why couldn't today never come?! I rather just stay in bed all day instead of going to school and seeing Brent. Brent, god what am I gonna do? I really should tell him, but I can't. I mean, it's not like that kiss meant anything. He'll never find out, he doesn't have to know. It'll probably make things awkward between me and Dustin now, but it's not like our relationship isn't any different now. I mean, that kiss wasn't as amazing when I kissed Brent, bruising, but still my heart belongs to Brent.

If anything, I think that kiss made me even more sure of my relationship with Brent. Ugh, what am I thinking?! That's just some stupid excuse I'm using to not tell him. I have to tell him. Sure, he'll be super pissed at me, but at least it's better for him to hear it from me. I don't want to hurt him, but he really does need to know what happened. 

Maybe if I tell Vanessa first, she could help me decide how to break the news to him. She'll probably be the most understanding in all of this confusion, and could really help me out here. 

Realizing that I've been in bed for about 15 minutes thinking, I jumped out and quickly got dressed. If I didn't hurry up, I'll miss my bus and my mom will be super annoyed at me. I ran downstairs, chowed down my breakfast and ran for the bus stop. I saw Dustin already standing there, and I leaned against the stop sign, trying to gain my breath back. 

"Rough morning?" Dustin said while laughing. 

"Woke up late." I said finally getting my breath back. I started fidgeting again when I thought back to why I was late. 

"Hey, you okay?" Dustin ask gently putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, just nervous." I breathed out. 

"Kayla relax. It'll be normal for him to be mad at first, but he'll understand when you explain it to him." he said gently.

"But that's just the thing. I don't know how to explain this to him." I said confused. 

"You just have to say you got caught up in the moment and didn't mean to kiss me." he said, though I could tell he seemed a little upset when he said that.

"But that's just the thing Dustin. That's not the truth. Sure I wasn't expecting the kiss, but I still kissed you back. I'm not sure of my exact feelings for you, but I do know that I liked that kiss, probably more then I'm suppose to." I muttered out. Did I really just say that?

He looked a little shocked at what I said. He seemed to be trying to understand exactly what I said and find some kind of words to answer me. 

"Look, I really appreciate you for helping me get through this, but I'll handle this on my own. I don't want to drag you into this so much." I said shrugging his arm off.

"No, Kayla this is my fault. I kissed you first. You can't just not put my name in your explaination without lying. That's just gonna make Brent even angrier. We're doing this together." he said after recomposing himself. 

"Thanks Dustin. You don't know how much this means to me." I said pulling him into a hug. 

The bus came and we boarded on. Since we're the first stop, I had to wait a little while for Vanessa to come on so I can tell her what happened. I asked Dustin if I could tell her what happened between us yesterday. 

"If it makes you feel better, then you can tell anybody." he said gently. I smiled gratefully at him and waited for Vanessa's stop. 

Did I really mean it when I said I liked that kiss? I mean, Dustin is definetly a great friend of mine now, but can I really like him after knowing him for only a couple days? It's like Brent all over again. Really, since when do guys actually look at me like that? First Brent tells me he's liked me ever since he first saw me, and now Dustin is basically saying the same thing. I don't want to hurt either one of them. I can't honestly choose between them right? Seriously, it should be an easy choice, Brent since I've known him much longer. Then why can't I shake off the feeling of regret if I do that?