sorry // justin bieber

33.- feeling sad

Halley

Me: so i kissed Connor

It's the first time I text him ever since we said goodbye. Shit, I told myself I wouldn't do that. Guess that last-night-Halley didn't care much with a couple of drinks in her stomach.

He didn't text me back, maybe he thinks I'm some kind of stalker now. Well fuck him. He's the one who asked for my number.

I think about last night. About Connor. He's like a ray of hope making his way through the clouds. Maybe everything will start to fall into place now. Maybe I'll stop feeling sad if I'm less lonely.

My phone vibrates on my night table.

Farrah: Halley what the hell

Farrah: how drunk were you last night?

Me: wtf are you talking about?

Farrah: you kissed Connor?!

Farrah: the hell were you thinking

Me: wow what do you care

Me: none of your business anyway...

Farrah: why are you being so rude chill

Me: maybe I don't want you snooping around

Farrah: Halley i'm your best friend

Me: so i kissed connor

Me: big fucking deal

Me: you kiss boys all the time and no one says anything

Me: it's not like we're fucking twelve

Farrah: Halley this is so different than that!

Me: whatever

Farrah: i hate when you're being like this

Farrah: and you won't even tell me what's wrong

Me: oh boo hoo

Farrah: oh fuck off

Farrah: I just hope you don't really have feelings for him because it will all blow up on your face

Me: whatever

I'm being a bitch. I'm being rude and I'm very aware of it. But it pissed me off that she knew about the kiss. Like it didn't belong to me anymore, now it was public knowledge. I guess it's also part of the psycho punishment I've been giving her. Honestly sometimes it surprises me that Farrah is still around.

Sometimes it's just the sadness talking. It's not that I want to be rude, but sometimes I'm just really tired of everything and too tired to answer nicely.

I just want to stop being sad. Maybe then I'll stop being such an asshole.