sorry // justin bieber

43.- we're friends now

Justin

"What if I do?" I ask him afraid of the possibility.

"Nothing, dude" he shrugs with a smile on his face, "You fight for her"

"What's up with you?" I question suspicious of his joy. He sighs.

"I'm done, Justin" he says, "I'm done feeling like I'm out of place, feeling lost, in the middle of the dark"

I look at him and I frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm happy, man" he says as making everything more clear, "I found out that when you're happy, everything starts falling into place" he tells me with a really proud face.

"Like what?" I ask merely out of curiosity.

"Like... I don't know, everything" he lets out a sigh, "I feel like my life has a meaning now, like I'm not wasting my time" he proceeds, "I feel like things do get better" he explains. "Like, if everything suddenly makes sense but it doesn't even matter because you're already happy".

I smile because if he's happy, then I'm damn happy.

"So, this girl" he goes back to the previous subject, "what's she like?"

I look down, back at the city, where I can see the cars driving through the streets and people going around with shopping bags and walking their dogs. I feel like the very first time I got here, tiny, a bit lost and confused. Out of place.

"Haven't even met her" I confess. "I've only talked with her"

"How did you find her then?"

"Over twitter" I laugh.

"Sounds like you two are close" he comments casually, "where does she live?"

"San Francisco" I answer.

"What?! And why haven't you seen her yet?" He turns his face to me and raise his eyebrows.

"It's not really that simple" I say, trying to convince him and myself a little.

"Dude" Ryan reproaches. "That's the lamest excuse ever" he says. "I think you're too scared to meet her"

I frown, looking at the ground beneath us, thinking about his words. "Too scared". Why does everyone keep telling me I'm afraid? What do they even know about that?

"I'm not afraid"

I think about her. About this cool girl who's been listening to me and putting up with my shit and telling me her shit too. I come up with the conclusion that we're friends now. Not because we said we were, but because in the time she needed to talk to someone, she still came to me, and I listened. Even when I left her down a few years ago I didn't this time.

"Thanks" I say to Ryan while I stand up and jump into my car. "Thank you, Ryan. I'll call you"

"Go get her" he says, still sitting on the floor, knowing things are starting to get better for me and for us as well. "I'll always care, Justin" he adds.

Realizing I'm forgetting something I get out of my car and run to my friend, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you, man" I mumble against his shoulder, "I never want to loose you again"

"Next time you're being an ass I'll just punch you in the face" he laughs softly.

"Please do" I laugh back.

"Okay, enough" he taps my back, "you have a long road trip to do" reminds me.

I smile one last time before starting the car, leading it to the highway. Destination: San Francisco.

And this time, I'm keeping my promise.