sorry // justin bieber

60.- falling into pieces (part 2)

Halley

Yesterday

When I walked into my house I could
smell my mother's perfume right from where I was standing at the door. It was weird for her to be at home when I got there from my classes, usually she arrived late at night.

"Maybe she took the day off to be with my dad" I thought, "maybe she changed shifts with Tanya, that nice colleague of hers she's always willing to make her a favor".

I was far from the truth.

I walked into our kitchen just because that is the first place I always check, and there I found her, her mascara ruined leaving black stains under her eyes and across her cheeks, obviously a sign that she'd been crying.

"They had a fight" was my first guess.

She was sitting at the table with her hands together in front of her and completely silent. I couldn't even hear her breathing.

"Mom?" I spoke, awaking her from the trance she was in, making her jump on her seat.

"Halley" she said on a soft raspy voice.

I got closer to her cautiously and left my bag on the floor, waiting for her to tell me what was wrong.

"Mom what's happening?" I asked her worried.

"It's uhm..." She looked around the kitchen, resembling a lost puppy, looking for the way to tell your daughter the worst news you could ever give her. "It's uh- its's about- uh-" she stuttered.

"Mom" I said with fear on my chest, "where's dad?"

She gave me the saddest look I've ever seen on my mother's face, always so bright, so full of life, so awake. Her eyes looked terribly tired, even more than when she gets home from work, and the ruined makeup and hair gave her a depressed look I've never thought I'd see on her. She was struggling not to break. But she did.

She began crying loudly and pathetically. Holding her head with both hands as she hid her face from me.

"Is he...?" I wanted to say okay, but I knew he wasn't.

"He's gone" my mother cried in between heavy breathing and sobbing.

"No" I whispered, "No, no, no, no, no..." I repeated as my voice started to get louder, "No! He can't be gone! He can't be... He can't be dead"

I remember my nose starting to hurt, tears coming quickly to my eyes and my mouth getting dryer. I think I fell to the floor at first and cried there, and when my mom got closer to hug me I ran away, making my way up the stairs intending to get to my room, even though I barely made it to the second floor, where I clanged to the stair handrail and cried until I was so tired I fell asleep.  

My mom later told me I was there for close to two hours. Falling into smaller pieces each time as I realized I didn't have anyone to tell me about the stars anymore.