The Secret ~A Kylo Ren X Reader Story~

Chapter 5: Gone

~Ben's POV~

"Kylo Ren..."

The Voice pulled me from my sleep. It woke me up this time, whispering a name that didn't belong to me into my ears. The Voice swirled around in my head, and I stared at the ceiling to try to stop it. But it didn't work. It never worked.

I felt (Y/N) stir beside me, a smile forming on her peaceful face. I pulled her closer to me, my fingers play with the ends of her (H/C) hair.

A sigh left my lips. I knew I had to leave soon. I knew I had to get up, go to my room, get ready for the day. But I could not will myself to get up, to leave (Y/N). I just couldn't. I didn't want to. My anger boiled as I thought, I shouldn't have to.

But I had to. That's what I hated most.

So to not disturb her, I gently move (Y/N) off of me and I slip out from under the covers. I pick up my clothes that were strewn across the floor of her room and dress myself. Before I leave, I look back at her. Her chest rose and fell with even breaths. I loathed myself for leaving before she had a chance to wake up and say goodbye. I walked to her and placed a kiss on her temple.

"I'll see you again," I whisper. "I promise, okay?"

She mumbled my name in her sleep and rolled onto her back. Red and pink marks covered her neck and parts of her chest, the traces of my lips that still lingered on her skin. I looked away, I had to. If I didn't, I wouldn't leave.

I remembered the promise I made to her last night. When I got back in five years, I would marry her.

That was the only thing on my mind as I left her room and stepped out into the empty hallway.

~~>>~~<<~~

~Your POV~

I woke up cold. My covers were only covering my stomach down, leaving the rest of my body bare and freezing.

Ben was gone. His clothes that used to scatter the floor along with mine were gone. His presence in my bed was gone. He was just gone.

My datapad was on my bedside table. I checked it for the time and it said it was a little after 1000. Ben was supposed to leave soon with the others. I had about thirty minutes left, but that was just an estimate.

I pulled myself out of bed to take a quick shower. When I'm out, I stare at my reflection in the steamy mirror. A variety of red marks were scattered along my neck and certain places on my chest. I sighed. I would have to cover them up with a sweater.

I throw on a dark green sweater, black trousers, which I tuck into brown boots, and, since it was getting colder here on Corellia, a grey poncho. I brush my teeth quickly, before I head off to breakfast.

The dining room wasn't nearly as crowded as usual. Poe sat at his normal table in the middle. BB-8 beeped merrily beside him. I plop down across from him.

"You look tired," he says. BB-8 beeps to show she thought the same.

"Well, I didn't get enough sleep last night," I say. "I couldn't fall asleep, I should say instead."

"Why?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together with concern.

"Because of today, Poe," I mumble.

"Oh," he responds. "I almost forgot."

"That's where we're different," I say. "I just can't seem to forget."

"You'll be fine, (Y/N)," Poe replies, an encouraging smile plastered across his face. "You're a fighter and I know five years will pass quickly."

"What did I deserve to have a friend like you?" I say, finally smiling a bit. BB-8 beeps happily, and spins in a circle.

"Purely existing," he laughs. "Right, BB-8?"

The droid beeps a chorus of happy things.

"Thank you," I tell the droid.

~~>>~~<<~~

I walk down one of the hallways that led outside after I ate. Suddenly, a gloved hand drabbed a hold of my poncho and pulled me inside a closet, shutting the door behind me. It takes me seconds for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but instead a light flickers on. Ben stands in front of me. He was dressed like his Uncle Luke, like a Jedi.

He pulls me into a hug. "I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

I press my forehead into his shoulder. "I was just going outside to wish you off."

"Yeah, well, I had to say goodbye first," he says, pulling away from me. "I had to tell you I love you. I had to kiss you one last time."

I go on my tip-toes so I could kiss him. Even then he had to lean down into the kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck as his snaked around my waist. Our last kiss was passionate, memorable, and it made my heart sink. I knew I wouldn't see him again for five years, and that haunted me. I don't care how much BB-8 and Poe tried to make me feel better at breakfast, I still felt like the galaxies were being covered in an eternal darkness.

After we break away for breath, Ben leans his forehead against mine. We stay like that for what feels like forever. I never wanted to leave his presence or for him to leave mine. I told myself that this is where he belonged, with me. But General Leia had other plans for her son. I trusted what Leia did, so I didn't believe that sending Ben to train with his Uncle and other Padawons was wrong. I just felt like it was wrong for me.

"I have to go now," Ben mumbles, his voice cracking.

"Don't leave me," I whisper. "Please."

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)," he says, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I hope you can find it in you to forgive me for leaving you."

I sigh and look up at him, "Just come home to me, Ben Solo. Okay?"

"Okay," he says before slipping out of the closet.

I stay there for about five minutes after he leaves. I fight the urge to cry multiple times, but I had to show everyone that this didn't bother me. I turn the light off and slip out of the closet. Before I leave the palace, I take a deep breath to calm myself. It partially works.

I notice how crowded outside was. There was a ship in the center of the crowd, ramp lowered as little kids and teenagers walk up it after they wave goodbyes to their loved ones. I make my way into the crowd and easily find Poe and BB-8. I stand beside them and look over everyone to try to spot Ben.

He stood off to the side with his parents. He towered over his mother but was just a few inches taller than his father. Han showed no emotion, while Leia looked sad. Ben on the other hand, looked angry. Though, I believed he had a right to be. He was trying to talk to his father, who wouldn't even look at him. Ben was clearly frustrated, but then he did the unthinkable: he just turned from both of them and left.

He walked towards a ramp, but then he caught my eye. I felt his Force signature press against my mind shields, and I let him enter.

I love you, his voiced danced in my head.

I love you, too, I send back.

He just looks at me and nods before climbing the ramp into the ship. The rest of the future Padawons make their way onto the ship before the ramp closes. The engine of the ship starts and it ascends into the air loudly. In no time it breaks atmosphere and is out of sight.

I look back to where Han and Leia were, to find them just like their son: Gone.

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Hello lovelies!!! Another chapter!!!

This was the last chapter before the plot unfolds (yay!). Thank you for bearing with me and for the lovely feedback I get (it makes me just want to write even more for you guys!).

I'll try to get another chapter out for you guys tomorrow or Sunday (hopefully tomorrow though.)

Anyways, vote/comment!!

-Pizza