The Secret ~A Kylo Ren X Reader Story~

Chapter 10: Newfound Feelings

~Your POV~

Sunlight seeps into the room. I never fell back asleep. Tarika slept soundlessly next to me.

I pull myself out of bed and change quickly into a dark green, long-sleeve shirt, dark brown pants which I tuck into my favorite black boots. I brush my teeth quickly before I braid my (H/C) hair back into a bun.

The Force around me changed, telling me that Tarika was up. She slowly walked towards me, the look of sleep still was present on her soft face.

"What are you doing up, sweetheart?" I ask, scooping her up into my arms.

She rested her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I don't know, I just am."

I laugh, "Oh, Tarika."

"Do I have to go to lessons today?" She asks.

"Yes, of course you do," I reply. "Why, you don't want to go?"

"I just want to stay with you today," she says into my shoulder. "I wanna see what you do while I'm at lessons."

"It's nothing really, Tarika," I respond. "I just file papers for your Grandmother and talk to pilots like your Uncle via com."

"I also wanted to see Uncle Poe, Momma." She pulls away from me and smiles. "You know? Before he goes on that mission for Grandmother Leia tonight."

"Well, you'll see him at breakfast," I say, putting her down. "You're still going to lessons today."

She pouts. "Oh, alright."

I nudge her towards our bathroom. "Go brush your teeth while I find you something to wear."

She nods, heading into the bathroom. I find pick out a dress that Leia got her when she visited the Republic Senate on Hosnian Prime. It was a deep blue, with small sleeves. It was Tarika's favorite thing to wear.

She came skipping back, a smile on her face. I had her slip out of her night clothes before I helped her put on the dress.

"C'mon, sweetheart," I say, motioning for her to sit on the bed. "I have to do your hair."

Tarika obediently sat down, facing the opposite direction from me. I run my fingers through her raven hair to get out the tangled parts. It reminded of all the times I used to play with her father's hair. It shocked me always because it was the same color and texture as his. Trying to untangle her hair brought back many painful memories, ones I tried desperately to forget. I had forced myself to forget him altogether. I even forced myself to never even call him by his name.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

I was so lost in my emotions, I didn't even feel the tears that fell down my cheeks. Tarika had faced me and was wiping them away with her tiny thumbs.

"It's nothing," I say, sniffling. "I promise it's nothing. I'm fine, sweetheart."

"That's what you always say when you cry, Mommy." Her (E/C) eyes stare into mine. "Pwease, tell me."

"You're too young to understand," I reply. I wasn't lying to her. She was too young to understand anything and everything I kept from her. I wanted her to grow up without having to worry about anything, especially when it comes to her father. Poe was the only one who knew I was hiding her father's identity so he wouldn't be able to track us down and take Tarika from me. It was something I just knew he'd do. He did kill all of his fellow Padawons, he would have no problem killing me, or his daughter.

"If you say so," she sighs. She turns back around and I finish braiding her hair in silence. I pick out a pair of blue flats for her which she slips on.