Ups and Downs to Life

Irritated

I am irritated that I had a very terrible birthday and yes it not that serious but I didn't get shit for my my birthday it makes me feel worthless and unnecessary to be here. And then people forget about me, my dad thought it was a day early and then my brother told me the next day he said he forgot about me. And then my boyfriend/ex boyfriend/first love didn't say shit about my birthday and he probably gonna say he didn't forget but on his birthday I told him happy birthday and sent him a paragraph I didn't get shit. And yeah maybe it's not that serious but to me it's important so if you love me you should know it's important. And I don't know after you hurt me so many time I am gonna just give up frfr. I don't care how much I love you I am not gonna sit back and let you hurt me. After a while I am gonna give up and he might fuck around and lose me because he you worried about what I'll say or do but if I am with you I am not gonna leave you cause you have some hard days or you did something. He might just find out the hard way that, because what he is doing right now is not okay. And yes y'all know how we be we mad each other one day and then talking and laugh the next but I feel like we argue more then we laugh and talking. I don't what happened to him, what somebody did to him but my boyfriend changed and I want my boyfriend that I used to go with were we kissed and I felt the spark, or when he look at me I get butterflies in my stomach, or when I touch him I got the chill out of no were. I miss ourselves old memories but lately he has been his self and now I am stuck on
A. Move on and don't give a fuck
B. Sit back and let it play out
C. Try to pick the broke pieces up
D. Self-Harm

To be honest I want to go with choice "C" but I don't wanna pick up the broken pieces and he isn't welling to help.