Ups and Downs to Life

Fuck it

I just keep thinking about everything and it's start to piss me off.  Like my dad going to jail, I have to get a job to help my mom with the bills. And then I am applying at all of these place and I don't even know if I am gonna get an offer. My brother is always working now, my dad's last day of work is today. We are supposed to be throwing him a birthday party before he goes to jail. And I have to say my goodbyes Monday morning. And I know I am not gonna be up for school that day. But how do you deal with your father going to jail. I am going to Disney World on the 19 of March. And I can't wait but it's like I am not gonna be with my whole family. And I was supposed to meet up with an old friend in Florida. But he has to pay for his plane ticket to come to Pittsburgh. So we are not going to Disney World like I wanted me and him to go together but it's cool I'm not gonna stress. And school is okay I guess but lately my friends been trying to force my in a relationship with this guy. And I don't wanna hurt his feelings cause he really likes me but.... And I been thinking about my grandmas and my grandpa cause I really miss them. One of my grandmother pass when I was 4-5 but lately I really miss her she knew me like the back of her hand and I love her more then anybody. But other grandma passed like 2-3 months ago and she was the nicest old lady ever and she never really ever looked sick unless she didn't want to talk. But one day she had a heart attack and it really hurt me cause it took me by surprise. Then my grandpa passed 1-2 months ago and he was so nice we always took trips together. I remember us eating our snacks in the car but now there gone, and I can't bring them back. And a few days ago I took a pregnancy test and I told Jack cause he's the only person I been with. And I asked him what we were gonna do and he's answer was "Fall down some stairs" I was hurt like a motherfucker. I was a little hurt it made me mad and sad in the same breath. But I am in a "I don't give a fuck" mood. I said fuck it to everything.