Ups and Downs to Life

Sexually Harassed

12am

I was at my sister house spending the night because I miss my niece and nephew. So I spend the night with Kalyn I didn't want to be bored. My sister came into the room (whispering) go outside and take picture of the neighbor's daughter with boys out there. The neighbor's daughter was 14-15 my sister was thinking she was a little to young to have boys run in and out. And her mom wasn't home so she thought they were about to do some stupid stuff. So I want out there acting like I was taking a selfie, and I started taking picture of they. This guy from my school was there. He came over and started talking to me I said "hi". He started grabbing my butt I pushed him. I didn't care at first because it was nothing. But then his friend called him over to hit the blunt. And he left and I heard then yelling then he came back I got a little upset. He came back into my sister house he said he had a condom. And he touch me (down there) and he told me to touch him now. I didn't I told he to get out so I pushed him out the house. He left and I hurried up and ran upstairs.
   I feel dumb, embarrassed, and scared. I went up upstairs and asked my friend have she ever been sexually harassed she said "no" and she asked me "why you ask". And then I told her I was sexually harassed she said by who and I could her the worry in her voice. Shawn she said the dude from your school (depressing pause) I said "yes". She felt bad I could feel the upsetting vibe she was giving off. I was so shocked he would ever do something like that to me. And I froze I didn't hit him in his ball, scream, nothing, I just let him do it. I'm dumb like I should have did something I should have hit him but I didn't (crying in the inside try to be strong on the out).
   I still think to this day it's my fault and I am the dumb one. I didn't want to tell anybody at first I just wanted to keep it to myself but I told my friend (Samia). And then she asked her older brother a "hypothetical" question. Which was (What is it called if a boy touched you down there and you don't like it.) He said it was sexual harassment which it was. Then I guess he could catch on that it was on of us. He asked her first she said it's not me then he asked me I said yes (scared to say it), he said you should tell your mom and I thought about it so I did so I told my mom the whole story. She wanted to tell the school and his parents. But I knew if that happened he would tell his friends a different story. About that it want him and it was me trying to have (sex) with him because that's Shawn. And I know what it feels like to be bullied so I didn't want that to happen again who ever wants to be bullied.
   When I first went to middle school I let this one boy (Kody) kiss me then Shawn went around school telling everybody that Kody and I had sex. So I know it will happen again and he will never stop. So my thing is let my brother beat the crap out of him but I didn't want it to go to the court or to his parents. I know that sounds dumb but being bullied is the worst feeling in the world that is the type of things female cut or overdosing or hurting there selves of like it hurt worst then get hit by a car and I know what that feels like my sister hit me before and I rounded under. So I didn't want to be bullied again.