S/HE

Dad(s)

"WAKEY, WAKEY. Everyone wake up!" my dad's fiance screamed.

"What the hell?!!! It's 4:30 in the... afternoon" I said.

"Yeah. You guys are late" he said.

"Late for What? You know we usually wake up this late right?!"
"I know. It's just that we have to go to the mall to buy your school supplies"

"Oh, I can do that by myself"

"No, I insist"

"Okay. Let me get ready"

"Oh, you're already are"

I looked at myself.

"You dressed me?!"

"Yeah. Don't worry I'm not affected seeing your flat boobs and tiny vagina"

"You can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, it's what gay people do!"
"Well, next time, don't say any hurtful comments about my body"

"Okay, Okay, I was just kidding"

"You were?"

"Nah. You need to do some squats"

"Whatever"

We went together as a "family" to the mall. And people were looking at us because dad and his fiance were holding hands. And making kissy face. Wait, no, they're not making kissy face, they are kissing. This is so embarrassing. And then, I saw my friends.

"Hey Jerrica" Maria said.

"Hey Maria. What's up?"

"Which one's your mom? and which one's your dad?"

"Haha very funny. And the answer is neither, they're gay"

"I knew that your dad was gay!" Angel said.

"How did you know? Were you stalking us?"
"No. Sometimes. Only in the bathroom. Forget that. But I saw your dad and Mr. Jacobs"

"Our math teacher? How does that show that he's gay?"
"They were together"
"And?"

"Kissing"

"And?"

"Fucking"

"And?"
"Do you really want me to explain more about what happened?"
"Yes. And say it out loud"

I wanted him to say it so, dad's fiance could hear him and break up with my dad. But that did not turn out as I planned.

"YOUR DAD STARTED GRABBING MR. JACOBS' DICK AND HE LIKED IT. THEN, THEY STARTED TO MAKE OUT. PUT THEIR DICKS UP IN EACH OTHER'S ASS AND SQUIRTED CUM ON EACH OTHER'S FACE!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.

"That's true but I did that before I met you" my dad said.

"Nah. I totally get it. I did that with plenty of teachers too. It's how my son got straight A's. And may I say, I love that A's as well (trying to sound the word ass)" my dad's fiance responded.

"You fucked other teachers" I asked.

"No. It's more of complimenting. With more actions. Way, way, more actions" he answered.

"Okay, Jerrica. You have great family! I'm totally lying. Well, see ya!!!!" Ashley said.

"Bye Liam" Maria said before she left. But Liam ignored her.

"Yo dude, why you ignored her?" I asked.

"I'm already with someone remember" Liam said.

"Oh, I see you" I winked at him.
"Yeah, I don't know what you mean!" he said.

"I mean, my son getting those hoes" I said.

"Yeah, I still don't know what you mean!" he said.

"Whatever" I responded.

So, we all went to the same girl stores, except for Liam, he went to the video game center.

"Liam, don't forget to buy me, Kiss Suck Swallow" I screamed.

"Okay" he responded.

"What's Kiss Suck Swallow" my dad's fiance asked.

"Oh, it's a porn video game" I answered.

"Can we play?" he asked.

"It has vaginas in it"

"Nevermind" he said.

"Oh, wait. I forgot to tell him to buy BBC"

"Is that another video game?" my dad's fiance asked.

"No. It means Big Black Cocks and it's a store full of dildos and you can even try them out. It's my favorite store" I said.

"It's about to be mine. Imma go there honey. So, what size do you want?" he asked.

"10!"

"I saw your ass today. And I don't think it'll fit. Start slow baby, like 3"
"NO! Just buy me what I want!"

"Okay, Okay. Buy Honey (he kissed my dad). I'll buy her a 2 instead (he whispered)" he said.

Dad and I got some alone time and we went to a girl's clothing store.

"Oh, honey. You'll look good in this" he said.

"I think you're right that"

"Of course I am. Just walk like you're a model. Strut, Strut. And put your ass up"

"Okay Dad. I'll call somebody to help us. Excuse Me!"

"No, I know this more than this hookers"

"How may I help you?" she said.

"By leaving!" my dad said.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You're excused. Now, leave. Move Bitch. Move that tight ass" he slapped her ass.

She left.

"Why did you do that dad?" I asked.

"Because I can. And I did" he said.

We went to try out more stuff while other people looked at us in a weird, disgusted, vomity, constipated way. After we got everything we needed, we all went out the mall and saw my friends again. But when we did, my dad's fiance's bag fell and all the dildos came out.

"Oh, hey Jerrica. Is that for you and your dads?" Angel asked.

"haha. It's for both of us" I said.

"Oh wow. Well, don't choke on it" Ashley said.

"I won't" I responded.

"I was talking to your dads. Cause' I think they're really thirsty for those nuts" Ashley said.

"No they're not!"

"They're drooling right now. And of them are already swallowing it(my dad's fiance)" Maria said.

"Put the BBC down" I screamed.

"Sorry!" he said.

"Well, see ya Jerrica, Liam, dick-drooler, dick-swallower" Angel said.

"Suck my ass bitch. That doesn't bother me. That's actually a compliment" my dad's fiance said.

My friends left and we picked up the dildos. I was so angry. This are the kinds of problems that people face when they have gay parents.

Note: Thanks Liam for buying my game. Fuck U dads.