S/HE

Kids Party (Ages 25 and up)

So, I'm an old lady. An asian old lady. Wow. Did not see that coming at all. Oh well. Since I don't have any money, I can use my senior citizen discount. I just hope it's 100% off cause' I got no cash in my vagina right now. Hey, that's the safest place you could keep your money. Some people put in there boobs but that's stupid. Everyone grab each other's boobs every single time so, that's not really safe at all. I only have 3 more days to complete my mission and again, it's IMPOSSIBLE. These bitches are so selfish to say "okay, I forgive you". Like just because I killed one of your family members,that doesn't mean that you have to be mean to me. If you're rich enough or really have no life, then, adopt a fucking kid. Don't adopt an asian though. Cause' there's a chance that I'll kill him or her. I'm hoping it's a he so, I could shoot him in balls. Well, right now, I'm trying to remember who I'm supposed to apologize to. This is so not fair. I can't remember anything.

"Why did you have to turn me old?!?!?!" I screamed out of nowhere.

"You get use to it sister" an old lady that passed me by said.

"No, you don't get it. I just turned like this 3 seconds ago" I said.

"Yeah. I said the same thing" the old lady said.

"No. I'm from he... I'm from he.. Why can't I say he...?" I said and I can't say hell.

"Stupid Bastard" the old lady said.

"Hey, you bitch. Come back here! Don't try to walk out from me! That's not how you talk to your granny!!!!!!!! Oh wait, she's a granny too. Nevermind!!!!" I screamed.

Then, my guardian devil showed up out of nowhere.

"You can't reveal our secrets!" my guardian devil said.

"Which one? Is it about you taking dildos out of Satan's closet?" I said.

"No" my guardian devil said.

"Satan's bra"

"No"

"Satan's underwear"

"No!"

"Satan's dick"

"NO! Are you trying to get me fired?!!!!" my guardian devil said.

"Obviously. I'm trying to get your job remember!" I said.

"Well. You can't just go around telling people that you're from hell. That's a violation!" my guardian devil said.

"Oh come on. What's the harm on telling them?" I asked.

"Ok. I'll let you tell one random person" he responded.

"Hey. You. Hi, I'm from hell. And I'm here to hunt you!" I said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the little kid screamed running. He was ran across the street and got hit by a bus.

"Oh. Poor kid. This is why you don't run away from people you met that's from hell. Don't their teachers teach them these things" I said.

"Yeah. If they were Satan! Why did you do that?" he said.

"You told me" I said.

"But not the 'hunt you' part!" he said.

"You didn't make that clear!" I said.

"Well, you killed him!" he said.

"Oh, you don't know that!" I said.

"His blood is all over the front window of the bus" he said.