S/HE

Double Wedding Part 1

So, I can't really just not do anything to Liam and my dad. And since they're going to have a double wedding, this is the perfect time to get my revenge. They think that they're going to be happy forever but no way, I'm not going to let them finish the wedding and go to their honeymoon. I bet they're going to have a foursome but that's not the point. And the most bad part is..... they didn't invite me to be their bridesmaid or something. Oh right, I'm "dead". Actually, the most bad part is that I don't have money to buy myself a gun. For self protection. I'm not going to kill them. Maybe shoot them but I'm pretty sure I won't kill them. Hey, do you kill someone by shooting at their balls. Wait, I just took a phone from a stranger to search it up in Google. No, you can't kill anyone by shooting them in the balls. I guess I'm aiming for the head. But I'm pretty sure I won't kill them. Wait, I just took the phone again, and searched it up in Google. Oh, you can kill them if you shoot them in the head. Oh well. So, now, I'm going to my old job. That's right. I'm gonna be a STRIPPER. I'm not proud but yeah you get the point. When I went inside to talk to my boss, he screamed and gave me all his money. I didn't know why he was like that.

"HERE, TAKE MY MONEY, MY PANTS, MY SHIRT, UNDERWEAR, MY VIRGINITY! JUST DON'T HURT ME" he said screaming.

Oh yeah, they think that I died. No wonder the tough guard outside the club went out running and screaming and pushed the old lady out of the way. I think it was my grandmother. Oh well, she didn't even say anything in my funeral. That's what you get you old bitch! So, I guess, I don't have to work anymore because he just gave me all his money. I'm going to buy a gun, a plane, a monster truck, and a dress. What? I have to look good while I try to kill people you know. Today is the wedding. I didn't go in yet. I waited for them to finish their vows.

"Liam, I really love you and I really want to suck your dick for the rest of my life. I would give you the same offering but the snake took it all. I just want to say that... I can't wait for the honeymoon!" said Jason.

"The snake?" the priest asked.

"Oh yeah, the snake ate my 8-9 inch dick so now, I can't make babies with Liam anymore!" Jason said.

"Umm. You couldn't make babies with Liam even if you had your '8-9 inch dick'" the priest said.

"Can we get another priest? Like this old slut here is ruining my ready to have sex mojo!" Jason said.

"Why don't we continue?" my dad said.

"Jason, when I first saw you, I never really thought about falling in love with you. And I know that there's guilt that's still killing me of doing this because of what had happened with my sister. But I love you and you love me and that's the only thing that matters!" Liam said.

"Awe, that was so sweet. And about that guilt thing, stop it. She's long dead and burning in hell. Plus, I'll shake that off in the honeymoon!" Jason said.

I was so angry with that but I'm just going to wait a bit longer.

"Jacob, I loved you the minute I saw you... online. It was like love in first sight... still online. I just started to get really hard for you and that was the sign that tells me to marry you! And I know that you've been having getting your dick hard issues since, your slutty daughter passed away, but... GET OVER IT! She's dead! She's dead! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!...." my dad's fiance said.

"YEAH, BUT BITCH, I'M BACK!" I screamed and interrupted my dad's fiance.

Everyone in the church gasped and the little girl from my funeral was clapping.

"Oh My God, you dead bitch! Go back to hell!" my dad's fiance screamed.

I went up to him and slapped him twice.

"I'm alive you asshole! And I'm stopping this wedding!" I said.

"You can't do that!" Jason screamed at me.

"And why can't I?!" I said.

"Because you're not even invited!!!" Jason said.

"I don't need to be invited!" I said.

"Why are you even here? And why are you wearing that dress?" my dad's fiance said.

"Oh it's gorgeous right?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's why it doesn't fit you!" my dad's fiance said.

"You know what doesn't fit you?" I asked.

"what?" he answered.

"Having a dick!" I shot my gun at his dick.

"Ha! It didn't work!" my dad's fiance said.

"How is that possible?" I asked.

"Because I've seen this happen in soap operas all the time! So, I wore this metal dick just in case?" he said.

"They sell that!" I said.

"Yeah, it's the new collection of BMCs" my dad's fiance said.

"BMC?" I asked.

"Big Metal Cocks!" he said.

"But can that metal cock protect you from this!" I shot my gun at his head.

"Awe, who's the dead bitch now! The DEAD GAY BITCH!" I said.

My dad's fiance died. I left the church running and Liam, Jason, and my dad followed me.

Note: My dad's fiance died and I still didn't know his name. I wonder how he's doing in hell right now. I hope it hurts when he tries to suck dicks because I'm pretty sure he'll try to do it, A LOT. May he rest in not peace. Don't even let him rest at all.