S/HE

Hitler's Challenge

After I dried myself from Hitler's pee with Hitler's breath, I went to find my guardian devil. I couldn't find him anywhere. But I saw some disgusting, interesting and delicious stuff. Like the slide with thorns and have blood as a swimming pool. That's disgusting. Like the naked guy who has a three balls. That's interesting. Like the naked guy who's having gay sex with satan. That's delicious. Wait, that guy is my guardian devil! Why is everyone gays in these days?! And if that's the case, my dad and his fiance should have been here with me! I'm pretty sure they're playing Kiss, Suck, Swallow and borrowed Jesus' BBCs or something. They're so lucky! I went to talk to my guardian devil but he said that he was busy! But having gay sex is not "busy"! It's just working! Then, he said "Okay then, I'm working".

"Come on. I need your help!" I said.

"Hey, being having a guardian devil is awful you know! It only gives me minimum wage. So, I have to work for tips, if you know what I mean!" he said.

"They sell stuff in here!" I said.

"Yeah. But it costs so much! Like us gay guys have to earn $50,000 just to buy a single BBC!" he said.

"How much is 'minimum wage'?" I asked.

"2 cents per year" he said.

"That's pathetic! I bet in Heaven it costs less" I said.

"No, it costs nothing! Everything is free in heaven!" he said.

So, I'm pretty sure my dad and his fiance is really having fun right now. I waited for 2 hours for my guardian angel to be done with his "work". But you know what's wrong? Hitler didn't even pay me! And I really want a BBC right now! Whatever, I'm gonna focus on what's important! Getting another dick that's not Hitler's.

"Can I work for someone else?! Please!" I asked.

"You can't. You are the newest devil so, you have to work for the baddest devil!" he said.

"I'm going to talk to Jesus because this is not fair!" I said and I went to the heaven's gate and got shot by lighting because Jesus said I'm not allowed to go inside. While my dad's fiance saw me get shocked and he was laughing and said shoot at her more. And I was sent to hell.

"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Help ME!" I said.

"I just can't I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it! Now go back to Hitler and suck his dick and drink his cum and pee to make him happy!" my guardian devil said.

"No, I'm not gonna do it!" I said.

"Then, you would have to face Satan!" he said.

"No, No. Just please help me" I said.

"There is one way! You can go back to earth and fix your mistakes if... you pass Hitler's Challenge!" he said.

"What's Hitler's Challenge?" I asked.

"You would have to battle against Hitler and see who can do the more baddest thing than each other!" he said.

"Has anyone defeated Hitler?!" I asked.

"No! Because no one would try to! If you fail, you would have to be a slave, not just for Hitler. But for everyone! Even me. So, you should try it!" he said.

"I will!" I said.

I went to face Hitler and I defeated him. I'm going to go back to earth and fix my mistakes in 5 days! But if I fail, I'm going to continue being Hitler's slave and I think he's mad at me and I'm pretty sure he's going to buy an artificial BBC that's like 100 inch long and he's going to make me choke on it for the rest of my life. But if I fail, that BBC better have a good flavor. Oh no, I'm gonna have to pretend to be nice and sorry to Liam and Jason. Eww. That's worse than Hitler's dick! And trust me, Hitler's cum might be good, but his dick is so bad.

Note: I'm going back to EARTH! I'm more badder than HITLER! I'm not going to FAIL, I HOPE!"