S/HE

The Looks and Sizes of...

I completed my first mission right? I did. But you know what my guardian devil rewarded me? Punishments! He said that I broke the rules. He said that I was supposed to be nice and even if I did make them forgive me, I was still 'cruel'. So, what? We didn't really actually played with Lance's body. It was more of a... going away present. Lance is such a fucking tattletale, he probably told on me to Jesus. Like we get it, you're dead, and nobody likes you, now, stfu and just live your life alone in heaven. Like at least you're in heaven! My guardian devil didn't really told me what my punishment was but I bet it's like a good gift. Because since it's hell, being bad is being good right? Wait, nevermind. I just turned into a boy!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I BETTER NOT BE ASIAN. OR BLACK. OR MEXICAN, I DON'T WANT TO BE DEPORTED!" I screamed and everyone in the sidewalk is looking at me.

"Keep walking sluts. Guardian Devil!" I screamed.

"What is it?" my guardian devil said.

"Why the fuck am I a boy?!" I said.

"Because it's your punishment! Here you're not that bad!" my guardian devil said and handed me a mirror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I screamed.

"What is it? Did you see a guardian angel? I know, they're scary to me too!" my guardian devil said.

"No, it's worst!" I said.

"It's Jesus! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!" my guardian devil screamed.

"No, you fucktard. It's me!" I said

"AAHH. Wait, how is it you?" my guardian devil asked.

"I'm Asian! I'm gonna start acting like an asian. Then, one second later, I'm gonna get assassinated!" I said.

"Oh come on, that's not true. You have no proof!" my guardian devil said.

"I have myself as proof. I killed an asian remember! Ohhh.. that's why I'm asian isn't it?" I asked.

"No. We ran out of mexican costume magic and asian was the only thing left" my guardian devil said.

"Well, it's either this or being dragged out by Donald Trump so, it's a 50, 50. Wait, does this mean that I have a dick now too. Oh, no. I'm asian. Shit!" I said and looked in my pants.

"Wait, this is a dildo!" I said and took it out.

"Couldn't you devils afford a real one?!" I asked.

"Fine. But this is the last one! I was saving it for myself. I hate this job" my guardian devil said.

"Cool, I always wanted a british dick" I said.

"What?" my guardian devil asked.

"What? You don't know what I want" I said.

"No. That's not a british dick. That's asian!" my guardian devil said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.

"It's Japanese!" my guardian devil said.

"Well, I wanted a Big-Cock-anese!" I said.

"Are you sure that there's no more... you know... actual, real dicks available?" I said.

"Nope. That's the last one. And you should really know how each races' dicks look like? There's a class for it you know!" my guardian devil said and left.

"Wait, where can I enroll?! Whatever. oooh, cute guy. Wait, why is my dick getting hard? I thought it only worked when boys see girls. Oh damn, I forgot, I got an asian one. THANKS FOR GIVING ME A GAY DICK!" I screamed.

"What? You want to suck on it grandma!" I said to an old lady and she started running. I think it was the same one from the other time. Shit, I forgot to return her teeth. Oh, she doesn't need it. She's gonna die like in 2 hours anyways.

Note: This being a boy thing is super hard. Especially when you're asian. And I'm really going to enroll at the dick school. I need to learn the different looks and sizes of dicks that's why. Plus, I can't wait for group work. Or one on one. I better get a boy. Oh, right, I'm a boy. Oh well, I'm asian too, anyways.