The Way It Should Be

Chapter Thirteen

Its been a few days since the boy's death and I've never stayed next to Steve's side longer. I haven't slept in three days and I feel exhausted. I ended up getting a fever from running shoeless in the rain, but how could I care when I had failed as a best friend?!

I allowed him to commit suicide! What kind of a monster allows that?! I should have caught on! The compliments, the random anger outburst, and him wanting to hang out longer! It was all my fault! All of it.

If I had went to his house instead of Steve's he would be alive right now! How could I have given up so fast?!

Yesterday everyone who has ever known him got a chance to speak to him and tell him how they really felt about him.

"Darren, you idiot, you're so stupid! You die by falling out a stupid window! I would have rather killed you! Especially after you hurt Steve!

"You're stupid, truly stupid, I hate your stupid guts! I hate you! But.. I love you! You were my best friend! How could you fall out a window! You carless piece of crap! Steve still cares about you! I still care about you! And I'd never ever hate you... I wish you could've told me your feelings sooner... because I love you too... I truly did..."

Now.. Back to present time, I grab the card on my night stand and squish it in my hand. I look through my closet. I find a picture of my family and slide it in my pocket, I then find a picture of me and my friends. I also find a stuffed snake that Darren gave me a couple years ago.

I grab one of my school notebooks, rip out a piece of paper, grab a pen, and then write.

Dear Family,

I love all of you, I do really, but I have to go, I'm sorry, I need to figure out who I am, I know you'll worry, don't worry yourselves, I'll be just fine I might visit some time, maybe when I'm married and have little wolf cubs, I'll miss you, don't try to look for me, I'll probably be just happy where I am, I'm very sorry I have to leave this way. See ya in the future.

I rip out another sheet of paper and write.

To Steve

I'm so sorry for breaking your promise, and I'll always remember you, buy I need to find out the real me. I hope you don't get too sad or angry. I truly do love you as a friend and never ever forget that. I don't want to return to hear you killed yourself too. Thank you for all the care you gave me, thank you, truly thank you.