Ghost ↬ Derek Hale

38 ; a new normal

                 

38 ∞ a new normal

Running away never seemed to take Lily anywhere – and even now, in much more serious circumstances, this was no different. Her steps had only slowed as she'd began to register her surroundings, recognising her street and eventually her home. The vibrations of her phone had slowed and it was now ringing irregularly, sometimes in a row and sometimes with a large break before continuing again. She didn't want to be a part of the supernatural – at least not for that moment. All she wanted to do was go to her room and cry.

It was a peculiar feeling: being faced with the death of a loved one. Lily felt simultaneously distraught and numb; something she felt didn't go well together. She'd seen his body and seen the blood and Lydia crying and Melissa shaking her head at the failure to revive but she didn't believe it was real. She was half expecting him to call her to complain about how Stiles had taken all the attention at the game but that wasn't the case. For the longest time in a while, Jackson had received the most attention at a lacrosse match.

The house was empty as Lily trudged up the stairs, not bothering to flip on any of the lights. The last time she'd talked with Jackson, their friendship had ended. The last conversation she'd had with him had been an argument. Had she even tried to reconcile? It had been Jackson's decision to stop being friends – he'd been the one to push her away but what if she hadn't let him? What if she hadn't run away from all the conflict they'd faced? What if she'd held on just that little bit more? Would he still be alive?

'What ifs' weren't enough though. They couldn't bring him back and they couldn't change the way things ended.

Turning on the light to her bedroom, Lily heaved a huge sigh, taking in the box on her bed filled with friendship bracelets and materials for crafting them. What if I'd just dealt with things instead of distracting myself with these stupid things? Seeing the box made her feel angry – at her principle for banning her from selling them, at the town for being so paranormal – and at herself for being a coward. She thought she'd come a long way from the scared girl in the locker room but that obviously wasn't the case.

Not wanting to think about that anymore, she clenched her jaw, grabbing the box and throwing it across the room. Friendship bracelets rained down the room, loose pieces of threads unravelling and random pins covering her bedroom floor. She looked down at them, not feeling any better but letting the array of colours take her mind away from the crimson patches she'd seen on the field.

I'm doing it again, she closed her eyes tightly, her face heating with the warmth of fresh tears, I'm running away from things. Clutching her head in her hands, she let herself fall down to the floor, back resting against the bed. What was she supposed to do?

The vibrations in her pocket started again and swallowing, she pulled her phone out, reading the caller ID. It was Scott. She rejected the call, only to find that she had tons of missed calls from everyone – even Derek. Scoffing, she shook her head. If she hadn't been so focused on her stupid relationship drama with Derek then maybe she could have prevented a lot of what happened. As if thinking of him had triggered it, the phone began ringing – Derek's ID appearing on the screen.

Shaking her head, she tossed the phone across the room, not wanting to think about him right now. She'd spent enough time thinking about him and about him and her. The phone landed with a gentle thud, the vibrating becoming louder as it rumbled on the floor. Lily was about to move her eyes away when she noticed a bracelet it'd landed on, recognition filling her.

It stood out because it was terribly weaved and had the worst colour scheme but she remembered it clearly. For the longest time she'd thought she'd lost it but as if by magic, here it was again, reminding her of friendship with Jackson. That's what friendship bracelets were meant to do, right? Remind you of your friendships?