Keep Quiet // Josh Dun (completed)

chapter seventeen :: sad jøsh and christmas gifts

I'm back! This chapter is one whole depression trigger warning, just saying.

Nicole eventually had to leave Josh's side. She didn't necessarily want to, because honestly, who would want to? Josh was mentally unstable. Nicole was scared as hell because Josh just wasn't himself. She understood that he was depressed and he couldn't really help it, but it just made her upset because Josh just wasn't Josh. He didn't want to get out of the house. He didn't want to get out of bed. Nicole was told by Tyler that he didn't even wanna eat.

Nicole was worried beyond words. Nothing could calm her nerves. She was constantly thinking about Josh's physical, mental, and emotional health. So to pass time, she worked on his Christmas present. It was only a few days after Christmas, and New Years would be arriving shortly. The incident with Josh was just two days ago. She only left after his parents came back home. After she told them what happened.

She took almost all day to make his gift, so she was hoping Josh would love it. So she called him.

"Hello?" Josh answered. Nicole knew he wasn't feeling good, so she kinda tried to ignore the fact that his voice sounded quieter than usual.

"Hey, d'you want me come over?"

"Um...-"

"I have your Christmas present," She tried to persuade him. She kinda understood that actually talking to somebody when you've basically secluded yourself was going to be hard, but she didn't fully understand it, seeing as when she had depression, it wasn't as bad. Only acute. Even something as little as having somebody over could've been hard for Josh. Depression isn't just something that people can block out and go on with their daily lives.

"Y-Yeah okay. I have yours too," Josh informed her. He wasn't really feeling up to having someone over, but at the same time, he knew by not letting her over, he would hurt Nicole. And that was something that he wasn't looking forward too. He had already done it with kissing Ashley, the treehouse thing, and the broken plates. He had even thought that just getting her to talk hurt her.

Either way, Josh was in bad shape, mentally and emotionally.

"Josh? You still there?"

He was pulled out of his thoughts by his girlfriends' comforting voice. "Y-Yeah..." He shook his head, mentally scolding himself for getting too consumed in his own ( bad ) thoughts. "My parents went out so whenever is okay."

"Okay. I like you,"

Josh hesitated for a few seconds before speaking again. "I-I like you too." He heard the line click, signaling that Nicole had ended the call. He dropped his phone in his lap and let out a heavy exhale. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see Nicole again - or rather he wasn't sure if Nicole was ready to see him. He kind of looked like utter crap. His hair was in tangles, even though he had forced himself to get up and wash it. His hand was still wrapped in bandages from the cut. He was still in his pajamas from the night before.

He looked down at himself and sighed before forcing himself to get up and grab her Christmas present off of his dresser. It was wrapped with a small bow to top it, Nicole's name written on the tag with a little heart next to Josh's name on the from part. Normally, he would've thought it was brilliant present, which he did when he actually produced and wrapped it. But right now, nothing was enough to not make him feel like a total fuck up.