Keep Quiet // Josh Dun (completed)

chapter eighteen :: new years

Nicole 💕: jenna just texted me about her New Years party

Joshy 💖: ???

Nicole 💕: do you wanna go?

Joshy 💖: it's today tho

Nicole 💕: yeah. and?

Joshy 💖: kinda late to make plans now, right?

Josh didn't want to leave the house. His bed was his home right about now. He was just making excuses so he wouldn't have to actually leave.

Nicole 💕: no

Nicole 💕: unless you have plans that don't involve your tyler (which they usually do) or me.

Joshy 💖: fine. I'll go.

Nicole sighed when she saw his text. Of course she wanted him to get out of the house ( the sun would've been good, seeing as his depression was caused by lack of exposure to sunlight ), but she felt as if she pressured him too much.

Winters were always hardest for Josh. He had to complete his light therapy everyday, which he always felt guilty about. The reason he felt that way was because it was caring for himself. It was one of the hardest things for him, especially when he felt as if he shouldn't or didn't even deserve to. What also made it hard was because his arms and legs always felt so heavy. Of course this was a symptom of his condition medically, but he also felt as it prevented him to do all the stuff he should've been doing.

Nicole 💕: do you want me to pick you up?

Joshy 💖: yeah I guess.

Josh got up slowly, opening his closet and staring at his clothes. Nothing seemed right. Nothing seemed like him anymore. Of course Josh wasn't himself anymore, but the simplest things like his clothes seemed wrong.

He sighed as he just settled with a plain blue shirt and his usually black skinny jeans with a black hoodie.

A little before eleven o'clock, Nicole knocked on the front door. She was expecting an answer from Josh but instead, she got one from his dad. "Hey Mr. Dun. I'm just here to get Josh," she stood the stoop awkwardly.

"Yeah, the New Years party right?"

Nicole nodded and gave him a little smile.

"I'm sure he heard you. He'll be down in a second." as predicted, Josh came down the steps just a few seconds later.

|-/

As soon as they got into the house ( full of rowdy teenagers ), Nicole could tell Josh immediately looked uncomfortable. They eventually found and empty spot in what Nicole assumed was the dining room. Josh sat right next to her, holding her hand.

Nicole noticed how he squeezed a little tighter every time somebody got closer to him. How he constantly glanced at his surrounds.

Josh jumped as he felt somebody tap his shoulder. "Tyler," he said as he saw who it was. His best friend was all blushy and loud, signaling to Josh that he definitely wasn't sober.

"Hey buddy!" Tyler now stood next to him, placing his hand on Josh's shoulder for support. "How's it going?"

"Ty, you're drunk." Josh pointed out quietly.

"You don't say!"

"Where are Jenna's parents?" Nicole questioned.

"Look at you! Getting all talkative.." The drunk boy took a sip of whatever was in his cup. "They went out to their own New Years party."