An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader)

(23) Only One

You were finally released from bedrest. Gandalf said your leg had healed enough for you to walk around, and your shoulder was substantially improved. You could even breathe normally, though the bruises on your neck were still fading. You now had free roam of Erebor, within the limits of your growing strength. The Rhosgobels were glad to take turns following you around the halls, and Roäc occasionally joined you on your walks by perching on your shoulder.

For all that you enjoyed your new freedom, you missed the time with Fili. Now that you were mostly recovered, he was usually occupied with his duties as prince. Thorin had ordered a new throne built, one that was not tainted with the memory of dragon sickness. Efforts had to be organized to rebuild Erebor and make it habitable again. The dwarves still in the Blue Mountains began to return to their home, and relations with Dale, Dain, and the Elvenking had to be moderated. The dwarves from the Blue Mountains arrived at Erebor in a steady stream, and many weary travelers came before the king to receive assigned quarters and pay homage to the man that had given them their home back. Fili, as heir, was put in charge of ensuring all these were taken care of.

You spent much time alone. Gandalf had left the mountain to meet with the elves of Rivendell, and Bilbo had left for the Shire shortly after the victory celebration. The other dwarves were too busy with their new duties to keep you company. You understood, but it didn't stop you from feeling like an interloper, and a lonely one, at that.

You had taken to climbing the stairs that rose above the throne room and watching as business went on. It didn't hurt that you knew Fili spent most of his time there, at his uncle's side. You often followed him with your gaze, admiring his ability to step into his role as prince so confidently. Sometimes Fili would look up and find you when the activity before the throne lulled, as if he could feel your eyes on him. He had not noticed you today. You tried not to care, you tried to watch Thorin or the dwarves that approached the king instead.But your eyes kept trailing back to Fili, your hand idly fingering the bead at the end of your mussed braid. It was no surprise that he was busy, but you still missed him.

But it was more than just missing him. Your heart ached for his presence. You wanted to have a simple conversation with him. You wanted to make him laugh again. You wanted to feel the warmth of his hand holding yours. You craved his presence, and it baffled you.

It was there that Balin found you, pining over the fair prince.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" Balin asked, sitting down next to you on the stone stairs.

You shrugged. "Just watching. Things seem to me much clearer from this distance," you sighed, propping your chin on your hand, your elbow resting on your bent knees.

"Ah, I see," said Balin. He was quiet for a moment, studying the scene below. Thorin looked regal on his new throne, and the other dwarves looked happy to have him there at last. Fili stood to Thorin's right in front of the dais, looking regal as ever in his circlet and formal tunic. His hair was not quite unkempt, but the braid at his left temple coming undone, as if he had run his hand through it one time too many.

"Y/N," Balin said at last, his eyes still fixed on the throne room. "Though you have been with us a good while now, I think there are things you do not yet know about us." You looked at him, curiosity lifting your brows.

"For dwarves, love comes in many forms. First and foremost is the love of one's family, and that is the warmest love any of us knows." You felt a pang at that, for the family you had never known and the wizards you had, as Balin continued. "Then there is the love of friendship. I think you are acquainted with that." Balin grinned. "But there is also our love for a partner, an equal. It's a more romantic sort of love, you see." You blushed furiously, looking away from the dwarves below and into your lap. "A dwarf craves this love in a way that only their One can fulfill."