An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader)

(43) Mother's Intuition

You must have heard Tauriel wrong.

"Pregnant?" You asked through the ringing in your ears. You were not ready to be a parent. It was too soon. You had only just married Fili, and now you were going to have a child?

Tauriel nodded, and Kili clapped his hands, saying gleefully, "I'm going to be an uncle!"

You felt your blood drain from your face. Denial gave way to shocked acknowledgment of the possibility as you fought through some of the more inexplicable events over the past few months. You had missed a cycle or two, but had not noticed because of how busy you and Fili were. You had become more emotional than usual, but you had chalked it up to being newly married. And you and Fili had certainly been enjoying your marriage bed. Neither of you had thought to take precautions against this sort of event. It seemed unnecessary, as there was very little chance of fertility because you were of different races.

You wondered distantly if you were going to faint again. The room was getting darker...

"Y/N? Amralime, are you all right?" Fili clasped your face gently, and you focused on his wonderful face. His earnest eyes. The wrinkle of concern in his brow, and the smile he was trying very hard to fight.

Tauriel excused herself and herded her husband out of your room. Thorin followed, and you were alone with Fili. Well, not exactly alone. There was a third... You put your hand over your belly and closed your eyes.

"I didn't think this would happen," you murmured, too strung out to filter your thoughts. "I wanted children, but I thought that perhaps you and I would not be compatible in that way. Or, if we were, I thought we would have years to get used to being married, but..."

"Are you unhappy?" Fili asked cautiously after you had let silence linger for too long.

His thoughtfulness amid your confused thoughts made tears spring to your eyes. "No," you choked out past the lump in your throat. "No, I am so happy. I am just-- just surprised."

Fili hugged you tight, cradling your head with one hand and wrapping his other arm around your waist. "I have long dreamed of being a father," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I did not think it would be so soon, either. But I am so glad." He half-laughed, half-sobbed, holding you tighter. "You have made me the happiest dwarf that ever lived."

You clutched at his shirt and held on for a long time. You found peace in his embrace, letting his strength and warmth wash away your frantic thoughts until there was nothing but tentative joy in your heart. "We're going to have a child," you whispered, letting your voice carry that joy into the open air.

Fili released you enough to lean back and study you. "I cannot wait to watch you be a mother," he crooned before leaning in to give you the sweetest, gentlest kiss your lips had ever received. You kissed him back with equal sweetness, thanking him silently for his support and his love.

This would not be easy. You had no mother of your own to ask for pregnancy advice, though this pregnancy would be harder to advise, as it would be half-dwarf, half-human. You could always ask Dis, but it was not the same. For the first time since Radagast had taken you into his care, you missed your parents. You missed them with an aching that you weren't sure even Fili could soothe.

"What are you thinking?" Fili asked, smoothing wisps of hair from your forehead.

"That I miss my parents," you said, fixing your gaze where your hand still clutched the front of Fili's tunic. "That our child will not have an easy life. That we are going to do everything we can to make sure she knows she is loved. That we are going to make sure we are there for her," you looked up to meet your husband's eyes, resolve growing beneath the ache in your heart. "We will be there for her every hour of every day."

The sorrow in Fili's eyes spoke volumes. He had lost his own father, you knew, but you had never talked about it. Most of the time, he seemed so content with his lot in life. He bore everything with laughter, with confidence and wisdom beyond his years. But in that moment, you saw the son that had lost his father and never forgot it. You saw in him someone who understood the hurt within you, even if he could not resolve it.

But when he spoke, it was with his usual humor. He did not try to hide his own hurt, or deny your resolve. He was vulnerable to your seeking gaze, even as he said with an attempt at a smile, "And how do you know we will have a daughter, and not a son?"

You took up the trail to laughter he had made for you. "I believe it's called mother's intuition," you said, your lips lifting instead of quivering with tears. There would be time for those tears, and for your fears. But it was not this moment.

"Well, I think you've got the next son of Durin in here," Fili said, splaying a hand on your stomach.

"And what makes you so sure?" You shot back, a true smile spreading across your lips.

"Besides the dwarrow to dwarrowdam ratio," he grinned, "my family has a history of male firstborns. I doubt even a human wife would change that."

You laughed. "We'll just see who's right when your daughter is born."

It felt so right to be laughing with him. It eased the ache for your parents a little, but most importantly, it met the new life you were fostering within you with joy instead of sorrow. The child deserved that much.

"We'll have to come up with names for a son and a daughter, just in case. Who knows? Maybe you have one of each in there," Fili laughed as he traced his fingers across your stomach.

"Oh, no. One at a time will be sufficient," you said, "especially if they're anything like their father."

He pretended offense. "I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that, wife," he proclaimed, his mouth twisting with a smile he could barely repress.

You laughed aloud at that, kissing the tip of his nose. "Sure you don't." You paused, letting the laughter settle. "Should we tell your mother?"

Fili chuckled. "She probably knows by now. Along with the rest of Erebor. My little brother doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut."

"You're probably right," you said, still smiling. "So does that mean I get to keep you all to myself for the rest of the day?"

"I am at your service," he said. Then, pointing at you in something akin to reprimand, "Especially since you will be spending the day in this bed, resting."

You sighed. "All right. But will you go get some of the Rhosgobels? I haven't seen them all day today."

He rolled his eyes with a forbearing smile. "So they can chew holes in our blankets? Fine. As long as you agree to eat the food I bring, too."

"Of course," you agreed easily. You looked forward to spending some time with the rabbits, as well as being under Fili's care. He kissed you on the top of your head before standing and leaving your room, and you settled back on to the bed. You were going to enjoy what was left of this day, you decided, putting a hand on your stomach. The rest would wait until later.

A/N: That was a little more angsty than I meant it to be, but I tried to turn it around a little at the end. I hope you all enjoyed it! If you did, I would really appreciate if you left a comment and/or gave this chapter a vote!

I would also like to take a moment to thank you all for your uplifting (and hilarious) comments on the last chapter, as well as welcome some new and enthusiastic readers to this story! I haven't had time to answer all of your comments, but every single one has made me smile so much. You guys are so wonderful, and you make writing this story ten times more fun.
--RA