An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader)

(39) Don't Look Back

You and Fili named the baby Rhosgobels that night. It took a lot of discussion, and not a small amount of good-natured teasing. They had their hair now, and their eyes had opened, but their exploration was still marked with hesitating head bobs and the stumbling of uncoordinated baby feet. Their personalities were distinct, though.

Fili named Onyx first. The only black kit in the litter, and the only black Rhosgobel you had ever seen. And his personality was brash. He was the first out of the nest, and the bravest of the bunch. When Fili suggested the name, you had no objection.

The rest of the litter was a little harder. One of the kits had a slightly reddish tint to her coat, and Fili wanted to name her Quartz, but it seemed to harsh a name for her. She was gentle, like her mother, and wanted to spend most of her time tucked up against your leg or Ash's side. You suggested calling her Ruby, and had to wheedle Fili with well-timed kisses and rabbit observations before he would concede to your suggestion. Stubborn dwarf. Topaz and Jade were obvious name choices, especially since they were the stones Fili had used on your courting bead and engagement ring. The hard part was deciding which rabbits the names belonged to. You eventually decided that the shy, even-tempered kit would be jade, and the playful kit would be Topaz. Fili teased you about that choice, saying that if you were Jade, the playful kit would be the obvious choice. He pointed out that there was nothing shy about your performance at the most recent council meeting, which earned him a light swat on the arm. He did concede the names with a laugh when you pointed out that they were your rabbits, in the end, and you would call them what you wished. It was out of courtesy that you allowed him to help name them at all.

Fili growled at that, but it was with a smile that matched the one on your lips. He knew you were in jest. That didn't stop him from giving you a very demanding kiss, leaving you out of breath and your mind in a blur. You even forgot for a moment what the two of you were doing in the Rhosgobels' new room, which Fili was immensely pleased by. You kept your mouth shut after that, not wanting to inflate his ego any more.

The last kit was a friendly little one. She was the most personable out of the litter, and the first of them to approach people when they walked in the door. Fili decided she was to be Opal, after a long period of thought. "We might name her Arkenstone," he said with a grin, holding the kit close to his chest, "but that seems mighty lofty for such a little thing."

You chuckled. "And I doubt anyone will be going on a quest to reclaim her."

"Oh, don't be so sure," he said, throwing you a comically earnest look. "She's a treasure. I'm sure anyone would seek her until the ends of the earth."

You rolled your eyes. "We're not talking about the rabbits anymore, are we?"

He smiled, glad you had caught on. "You're a smart one, amralime. It seems I have chosen well."

You laughed again. Life was so full of laughter with Fili. At least, it was now. You knew there would be trials ahead, and times of sorrow, but it did not seem wrong to be filled with such joy.

"What is that look for?" Fili sobered and set Opal down to scurry off and join her siblings in the nest.

"I'm just so happy," you said, fighting the tears that welled up. He shook his head with a gentle smile and pulled you close, his strong arms wrapped around you.

"I am too, ghivashel," he murmured into your hair.

The moment was, of course, too good and too simple to last. Wedding preparations had to be seen to. Invitations had to be sent. Fili had more and more meetings to attend, not to mention work he had to do outside of those meetings. Thorin was in earnest about showing Fili how to care for Erebor, and seemed to think the best way of doing so was to give Fili as many responsibilities as possible. Unfortunately, this meant you saw him even less in the month approaching the wedding. Instead, you spent your time training the new Rhosgobels, planning the wedding with Dis, and escaping Dis with Tauriel.

You and Tauriel had decided it would be best to have a double wedding. It would allow simplification of invitations, wedding plans, and so on. It would also allow the two of you to share the spotlight, thus avoiding as much of the weight of becoming newly royal as possible. Kili and Fili were wholly for it when the two of you asked, and Dis did not seem entirely opposed. Thorin was just glad he wouldn't have to host half of Arda twice in one year.

And so the planning continued. Your dress was ordered, then made. Tauriel's dress was brought from Mirkwood by Legolas, who arrived in plenty of time for the wedding. Bilbo, Radagast, and Gandalf arrived, too, to your great joy. Radagast and Gandalf greeted you with rib-cracking hugs, then sequestered you away for thorough questioning. Mostly, they just wanted to be sure you were happy. That, and whether you were still in your right mind. You assured them that you were, on both counts. Bilbo was happy to see you, but even happier to see that Erebor was thriving. Thorin took him on a tour of the mountain, particularly the forges that were rebuilt from Smaug's destruction and now in heavy use, but you and Fili showed him the secret garden at the top of the mountain. He was simply delighted by it, and spent most of his free time there, reading or tending to the plants.

Spring flew by on swift wings, and the first breath of summer wafted in on the wind. The baby Rhosgobels were no longer small enough to fit on your hand, or even on your two hands. The noble guests began to arrive for the wedding, the final fittings for your dress were held, and the menu finalized. Wedding gifts piled up in the corners of your room--what were you going to do with all those whisks?-- and your heart filled with equal joy and exhaustion. You were simultaneously dreading the wedding and wishing it would happen in the next hour.

Dis assured you that those feelings were all completely normal. You weren't sure you believed her, but pretended you did anyway. Tauriel seemed even more nervous than you, but you did your best to be a good friend and distract her from it. Kili helped on that front, too, and Fili's reassurances of his affections for you were very convincing.

Then, it was suddenly the evening before the wedding. Everything that could be done had been done, and all that was left was to seek what rest the night could provide you. You dragged your feet as you left the Rhosgobels' new room, and Fili smiled knowingly at you as he held open the door.

"Tomorrow we will be married," he said quietly, full of awe.

You smiled, but clung to his hand. "What if I mess up the vows?"

He chuckled. "Then we will laugh about it with our children and grandchildren."

The thought of children... grandchildren... with him. It was remarkably reassuring.

"And you're sure you still love me?" You asked, though you knew the answer.

"Until the mountains crumble and gold turns to rust," he said, smiling because he knew you just wanted to hear it one more time.

"Can I have a proper goodnight, at least?" you pleaded, recalling the last time you had asked for such a thing. The result had been remarkably pleasing.

His smile this time was an almost feral grin. "As my lady commands," he growled before leaning in and kissing you so thoroughly, so passionately, that you knew tomorrow would be full of enough joy to last you five lifetimes. "Goodnight, ghivashel," he whispered, taking a steadying breath and leaning his forehead on yours. "I look forward to being your husband."

With that, he turned swiftly and walked down the hall. He didn't look back once. You knew why, too, as you walked the other way. Because if you looked back, your feet would follow, and then you wouldn't be able to leave him again. The whole of the mountain would be scandalized by the breach of tradition.

So you didn't look back, reassuring yourself even as you closed your bedroom door that after tomorrow, you would never have to leave him after saying goodnight ever again.

A/N: Look at me, posting the update on the actual day I'm supposed to! And I know this chapter moved pretty fast, but I think it's about time that wedding actually happened, don't you? That said, the next chapter will be from Fili's POV, so yay for that! Anyway, thank you all for reading, as always. If you enjoyed this chapter, please give it a vote, and feel free to leave a comment!

--RA