avengers preferences

drunk texts

- someone just suggested this and honestly it's genius. THANK YOU HUMAN ❤️ -

tony

Tony: making pizzaaaaaaaaaaa
Tony: can you put tin foil in a micrawaveee?
Tony: shit you can't
Tony: unrelated. don you knowi how to get scotch marcks out of the wall.
You: are you drunk?
Tony: no I'm Toni

steve

You: theory, Beyoncé and I have nevere been in the snake room. maybe I'm her.
Steve: I don't really know who Beyoncé is, but I know you aren't her.
You: you're not invited to my world toure. By FeliCa

bruce

You: Maybe my next character should be a macaroni star.
Bruce: What?
You: ya knows, the songand dance. Something, something something something AYYEEE MACARONI. She can partner with Barry Cantaloupe.
Bruce: three things. One, it's the Macarena. Two, it's Barry Manelow. Three, how drunk are you?
You: four. I'm four drunk.

thor

Thor: auyelwlqosbejwlsu xkdwbvqishkdlwkwbsbsnsbebwlaksnewbnw
(Thor doesn't really understand Midgardian phones, and accidentally texted a poor soul, thinking it was you in his drunken stupor)

bucky

You: YOY NEVER TOLD WM YOY WERE A PRESIDENT.
Bucky: What are you talking about?
You: im readin a historicallalaal bookkk, and you wer there. PRESIDENTIAL JAMES BUCHANAN.
Bucky: I'm am not, never have been, and never will be a president.
You: does tagt mean we acnt have a presidential corgi?

clint

Clint: im pregnant!!!
You: wait what?
Clint: my test was positive!!!!
You: you've got to be drunk.
Clint: whhhyyyyyyyyyyy?
You: Clint, you're a boy.

pietro

Pietro: didyouknowicantypefasttoo.
You: What?
Pietro: thespacebarisforlosers. Imaspeedytyper.
You: Did you let Clint get you drunk?
Pietro: ....yes....