Letters

Letter 31

Dear Louis,

I'm finally gathering the strength to be the person I have been chasing in my dreams for a long time.
You know what it took? It took putting a stop to that endless torture of me running after the lost pieces of mine.
I had been walking along the silhouettes of who I used to be and clawing at the left graphite traces of our lost smiles. That needed to stop.
So, it did as I chose to be wise.

When even Dr. Green's constant nagging won't get me to leave the house, she would let Harry take it from there. It's not because she gave up on me but, because I was giving her all reasons to do so.

Harry didn't mind it one bit. He cared about me way too much to let it bother him. I think I wanted to hear some of his deep, inspirational words. They always dawned on my mind and in my heart in the best ways possible.
He has been through tough times that I don't know about because no one
can have such beautiful scars inked without any regrets on their body if they haven't found themselves tangled in a war before.

I listened carefully to every meaningful word that dangled off his lips as I sipped on coffee sitting in the porch with him.
"Look Freya, I'm not here to force you into anything. I just want you to know that all the warmth in the world hasn't dampened because of Louis leaving us.
There are plenty of stars in the big, blue sky. Look up; stop shedding tears for the fallen leaves.
I won't tell you to swallow your tears or choke back your emotions. Let them flow; make sure that you feel something. I know, you'll see the light. Do something that makes you happy. Travel. Meet new people. Fall in love with sunsets, unseen faces but, keep you happiness at the top of the list.
Why do you treat yourself awfully when you deserve all the love in the world?"

"Harry, what makes you think I deserve all the love in the world?"

"You deserve to be loved for the person you are, Freya. You're not a blur of sadness or a person sinking down to the bottom of the sea of self-loathing even though it may seem so to you.
You're worthy of love. Build a house of gold after the storm destroyed the one made up of fragile glass before. You'll make it through."

"My walls could be broken down any time, Harry. It would be the same tragic all over again."

"Why don't you believe in yourself?"-He frowned and continued.
"They won't be broken down if you're strong enough. Don't let your sadness leak through and you'll be fine.
Now, stop feeling so blue; I know you have more colors in you. Vibrant colors.
Paint your own rainbow."

I smiled at him fondly. He is someone who spoke as if he had seen a lot in life; has been rained on but, is young and appears to have a soft interior when he is clearly very much stronger than that.

He took my hand in his warm one and spoke slowly-
"Write Louis' name on a paper; make a paper airplane out of it and
set it free into the cloudy sky. Let it go.
Now that it has left, who's left? You.
Who has the power to change her life? You.
Don't search for the airplane, just look up at it
and know that it's always there; floating peacefully through the air
even though you can't see it.
Make up your mind and head down on the path you have always wanted to."

I put my arms around him as he whispered to me-"You'll be truly free from all your worries soon. I'll help you." I smiled genuinely and thanked him.

Maybe it's a mistake of mine to keep holding on to things that are long gone.
Louis, I have always loved you and I'll love you forever.
I hope that I'll be truly free like Harry said although I'm way better than I earlier was.

Yours Truly,

Freya.

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I'm sorry for not updating, guys. I got busy with school; we had exams.

Thank you for reading. :)