Letters

Letter 10

Dear Louis,

I did something terrible today. I tried to hurt myself more like kill myself.

I couldn't help it, love. After I wrote the last letter, I couldn't stop crying. I desperately wanted to see you. I felt helpless. I looked at all our pictures but, nothing seemed to make me feel better. I wanted you, I wanted you so bad and I was ready to do anything. Anything.

What if we're worlds apart? What if you can't come back? I can always make my way to you through anywhere.

I stood in front of the mirror for hours and tried to convince myself into doing something that would end everything in one moment. Death.
I was ready to do it. I belong to the place where you do.

It wasn't easy for me. I called my parents and talked to them keeping in my mind that this was the last time I'll ever hear their voice. They didn't suspect anything. I bid goodbye to almost everyone I knew, little did they know that it could be the last one.

Pills that were ready to be popped were kept by my side and I poured some water in a glass. I closed my eyes and prayed for everybody's happiness and that God gives them strength to cope with my death, especially my parents. I apologized for not being a good daughter. Although I knew I was the only support they had and I knew I would never forgive myself for making my parents suffer but, I couldn't live a life that didn't have you, Louis.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt like now, I would be like the clouds, roaming over the city and I won't be trapped in a body. No one would acknowledge my existence. I was wasting my life but, I didn't care, I wanted to be with you.

I was shivering and scared. Scared of death. But, you had already embraced it so; I mustered up the strength in me and started to take out a pill from the packet.

Someone rang doorbell and I got startled. I didn't go to open it and thought myself-"Great, so you're the one police would ask questions to when my dead body is found." The person became impatient but, I didn't move. Closed my eyes nod realized that this was the last thing I would listen to before I die, a doorbell.

I took the pill and made up my mind to make it quick. As another tear rolled down my cheek, I whispered-"I love you, Louis." As I was about to pop the pill in my mouth someone opened the door and slammed it and fast footsteps towards my room followed. When I turned around, a breathless Harry was standing in front of me with his knees bent and mouth hanging open. "What do you think you're doing?"-He shrieked when he saw the pill in my hand. "It's too late. I've made up my mind."-I said bluntly. "Are you insane, Freya?"-He came rushing to my side and threw the pills away.

He hugged me and I started sobbing loudly. I was screaming and blaming everybody for taking you away from me. He was patiently rubbing my back and continuously saying that it'll be alright.

After he calmed me down, he told me that I couldn't be left alone and he would come to check on me more often.

At that moment, I felt like killing Harry because he didn't let me do what I wanted. But, now I realized that I should be thanking him. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I know even you wouldn't want me to do this. Harry said he would take me to a psychiatrist. I agreed to because I don't want to cause any more trouble.

I love you, Louis and that's making me do crazy things.

Yours Truly,

Freya.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suicide isn't a solution. Ending your life won't make anything better. Freya had her own reasons but, trust me, things do get better. It isn't the only way out. Hold on, there's still some hope. :)

My twitter- ria17sep

Thank you for reading.