Letters

Letter 33

Dear Louis,

Your eyes were like an ocean; how do people expect me to forget you when the hue of you irises taints the entire sky and resembles the sea that often tempts me to drown.

Harry's eyes look more like a forest and its crowned canopy; I wasn't even trying to find my way through there but, somehow I ended up losing my soul to the gorgeous green of his eyes that stare at me like they know what's going on in my mind.

He talked to me about the kissing incident and said that he wasn't drunk enough to do something like that accidentally. He feels there is something between us; he thinks that the fire he feels in his veins when we touch is something more than just having a crush.

I don't really know what I feel for him; I can't decide what I want. After you left, I realized that I would never be able to connect to someone as well as I connected to you.

You strummed at my heart's strings like my fastened heartbeats were your favourite song; I loved every bit of what you did to me.

Some clouds settled down into my lungs and I forgot how to breathe whenever your fingers would trace my spine like an artist was outlining a portrait of his muse; you made me feel like I was more than just a girl with a broken heart. Thank you for everything you did for me and I apologize for not being able to be the perfect one.

Harry loves me; he really does but, I just don't know if I am ready to let someone into my heart again. I have too many cracks and flaws and I don't think anyone would be able to be in a relationship with me without getting frustrated because of me and my sorrows.

There's still a sword of cutting words hanging between Harry and I; neither one of us want to pick it up first and spill the truth.

I write letters to you because it's like I am talking to you once again; you just never reply but, that's okay. I am happy living with the belief that you are somewhere, listening to me cry about everything going on in my life.

A lot was left unfinished between us; I know the stars wouldn't align for us to kiss again but, I do hope we learn to be at peace wherever we are.

I sometimes wonder if you would be angry at Harry if you heard about our kiss. The two of you were such great friends; I really hope this doesn't change anything. He misses you everyday and often talks about the adventures both of you had.

Harry loves and respects you enough to stop himself form crossing the boundary I might draw in the future.

I don't know whether I should draw a line of separation or let him in and see if he can kiss my wrecked heart better.

I would love you forever, no matter what happens.

Yours Truly,

Freya.