Falling Hurts. A Kian Lawley fanfic

Chapter 26 - regret

*Kian's pov*

What the hell did I do? Did I just break up with kodie? I've been standing in this driveway for the past five minutes thinking about the last few words we said to eachother. I'm a dumbass, how or why did I say something so stupid. She probably hates me now, and you know what, I'd rather her hate me then her be sad. Because her tears are the death of me, and it kills me to know that I cause them. When I saw that tear roll down her cheek my heart broke, and to see her wipe it off that fast made me want to jump in the car and hug her to death. She didn't want me to see her sad. And that makes me want to punch myself.

I walked back inside looking down at my feet as if my dog had just died. When I walked in jc was watching the office, I didn't look up, I could just hear it. "Dude this is the funniest episode I swear-" he paused and I could tell he had looked at me because I stopped in my tracks right in front of our living room. "What's wrong? Is the fight really that bad bro?" Jc said as he walked towards me. "I- I made a big mistake." "Like what? It really can't be that bad." Jc asked. "I technically broke up with her-" jc's jaw dropped. "-no I mean, not really but idk. She said that living alone had its perks and I didn't think before I talked and answered with 'well being single has its perks'". "Dang dude, what are we going to do? I just hope she still brings my Chinese food". "Really jc, that's what you're worried about?". "No I'm playing around but you know it's not good to drive around when you're mad or sad. That causes accidents". "Oh shit dude. I swear if she gets hurt in any way-" I began. "She wont, I promise she'll be okay dude. Just chill out and think of a way to make it up to her."

*Kodie's pov*
I was driving down some Avenue with the windows down, my hair was swaying like the palm trees and the smell of Chinese food was kind of making me lose my appetite even more. I was listening to depressing songs, which doesn't make sense because they only make me more sad. I was thinking about kian, and how much we fight. It's not right, couples fight but not this much. We fight over small things but I think this fight actually shows me something that I need to consider more. I'm 5 min away from kian and jc's and I still don't know what I'm going to do. Usually, I'd go in there, he'd apologize then I would and we'd all eat Chinese food in happiness. Not this time. Even though that sounds great I can't let it happen. I think I'm going to walk in, give jc his food. Go eat at the bar and try to avoid any contact with both of them. Then I'm going to get some of my needs and go to my loft. I need time alone, I need time to think.

About 5 minutes later I pulled into the driveway, the location that the fight happened at. I turned off marvin's room by drake when it was right at the end. I turned off the car, grabbed the Chinese food, unplugged my phone from the aux and got out of the car. The sound of the car door startled me even though I'm the one that closed it. I think I'm just so nervous about what will go down in here. I need to stand my ground and not fall for his sweet eyes and not stay the night here. I need to go to my loft and spend my night thinking, even though I wish I had Andy to talk to..

I grabbed the door handle and exhaled. The door opened to see jc in front of the TV watching the office and the first thing that came to mind was kian. Until seconds later he jogged out of the kitchen saying "Oh my gosh, kodie you're back. Babe, we need to talk". I had no expression on my face and I could tell he wasn't able to tell if I was mad, sad, or even happy. I showed nothing, his last words hurt me like hell, but I don't want him to know that. "No, we don't" I said as I walked to jc and handed him the food. "You can eat my food, I'm not hungry." I said looking at kian then looking instantly away so he knew that statement was appointed to him. I started to walk downstairs. "But kodie-" kian said walking behind me. I walked into kian's room or shall I say 'the room I've been staying in for weeks' and went straight to the bathroom. I got my makeup, my toothbrush, straightener, Curler, and brush and walked back into the room. Kian was watching me as if he was confused. "Babe what are you doing?" Kian asked walking everywhere I would. I ignored him while I put my things in my bag including the clothes that I had here. When I got everything in the bag I turned around and looked at him. "Im going to my loft. Don't forget to pay your phone bill tomorrow, and don't worry about the flight to my parents, maybe I can give it to andrea or something." I said in a monotone voice, still not showing any emotion except for a hint of sadness. "But kodie, we really need to talk. I don't want you leaving while being mad.". He said. "What you don't get is that I'm not mad. You hurt me, too many times. I'm going to my loft." I said as I started to walk out of the room. Kian grabbed my arm and spun me back around. "I know kodie, I'm an idiot, you should know that by now. I make a lot of mistakes and people forgive me for them because it's just in my nature. But I would lose everyone just to fight for you, fight for us. I promise kodie I don't want to mess this up, I want to go to your parents, I want to meet your baby niece and I want to be there for you let me be there for you." By the end of his speech he was really close to me. Looking down at me straight in my eyes right through my soul, and he was holding my hand like if he let go I'd die. "Bye kian, eat the Chinese food and don't forget-" "-I know I know, pay my phone bill. But no, I'm not taking 'bye' for an answer. You aren't leaving until you forgive me and kiss me. "I forgive you for everything, but not for this. You were speaking your mind, and I cant get mad at your opinion. Bye kian" I said as I pulled my hand away from his grip and walked towards the staircase.

I walked up the stairs with the heavy duffle bag slung across my shoulder. "Kodie, stop. You aren't leaving, you can't leave me." Kian said running up the stairs I grabbed the handle and turned around. "Last time I checked you were the one that said you didn't want to be with me. Not the other way around." His face was so broken hearted. I just wanted to drop my bag and kiss the pain away. "Bye jc" I said with the smallest smile I've ever forced onto my face. I took one last glance at kian. His mouth was slightly opened and he was staring at the ground. The movements of his chest were insanely rapid. He looked up at me, our eyes connecting. His eyes were glossy and red. "Kodie I don't want to ruin this" he said with long pauses in between. This was the saddest I've ever heard him, I've never wanted to forgive him so bad. I will soon, but I just need time to think. I love kian always will. "You haven't." A tear rolled down his check and I walked out of the door and by the time I got in my car I was balling my eyes out. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.