Pink Ribbon (Liam Payne)

Chapter 27

I kept my back against the wall. My hands covered my eye to keep the tears from coming, but it didn't work. My palms were wet with my tears, and I was mentally cursing myself for my stupidity. It wasn't bad enough I told him my complicated feelings when I'm not even sure how I feel, I also fell into his trap. I shouldn't have kissed him. How stupid was I? What did I honestly think was going to happen? I was going to say how fucked up I am? I would explain about the whole job offer and conditions as we rode off in the sunset? He's Liam. Not just Liam. He's Liam Payne of One Direction.

The scariest part of this whole thing is this feeling in my chest. It's not even the feeling in my chest. It's the lack there of. I could try to describe it in every way for the next twenty years, but nothing I can say will perfectly describe it. I feel a hole where feelings and happiness had once been. But to have a hole in my chest means accepting the fact Liam had been the one to give me feelings and happiness in the first place. You never do truly know what you have until you lose it.

But Liam was never yours. And will never be for that matter, I thought. I should probably stop saying his name for now. Don't you think your overreacting?

I felt something lean on the door from the other side before realizing he was still here. Knowing he was still here waiting for me made my heart leap before remembering that won't help me get anywhere. "Sophia. Sophia. Sophia, please answer me. Please," Lia-- he pleaded.

I rest my head against the door and dropped my arms to my side. I closed my eyes and without thinking, I lick my lips, my thoughts lingering back to the kiss. NO.

"Sophia. I can't help you if you won't let me in. Sophia. Please." I stayed quiet, afraid I would give in if I were to speak. If you can't talk, text. 

I crawled over to my phone on my bed and quickly sent a message.

~~~ Liam ~~~

With my forehead leaned against her door, the door bucked slightly telling me she moved. She is in there crying while I am locked on the other side of the door. This is all my fault. I don't know how yet, but I will make this right. I must.

She thinks I don't care, and I'm some horrible monster, but maybe I am. When I kissed her, all I could think about was how I would miss her if she were to leave my life. I came here to assure her she's everything I could ever want and more, and I was given the chance, but I froze and kissed her. Why was she still under this illusion that I want nothing to do with her?

I could tell her through the door -- she is locked up in her room, -- but I want to be able to tell her face-to-face. Not face-to-door. What are we? I don't really get it, and just asking this makes me sick and want me to hide myself in my room and never come out. 

After I sat there stationed outside her door like some lost puppy, I heard the door slam. Her mom is home already? I straightened up and walked towards the stairs. Somehow I think throwing the fact I'm home alone with her daughter would be slightly better than finding me outside Sophia's door while she's inside crying. When did everything get so complicated?

I headed down the stairs when someone bumped into me. "Sorry," I apologized before looking up at Ms. Harris. But when I looked up at her, it turned out to actually be a guy. Luke.

"I told you to stay away from my Soph! What did you do? What did you do to her?" Luke pushed me against the wall. The railing hurt my lower back, but that was the least of my worries.

I pushed Luke away and tried to run back up the stairs to Sophia. Luke grabbed my arm and manipulated my forwards movement against me. Within seconds I was back against the wall. I need to go upstairs to Sophia. I need to protect her. But wait... "What are you talking about? I didn't hurt Sophia! I would never!"

"She fucking texted me you prick! You asshole! I told you you would hurt her! How could you?" I was beyond confused when Luke added in a quiet and fearful tone, "Did you touch her?"

I gave him what must had been a confused look before asking what he was talking about.

"Did you... you know? If you so much as looked at her funny, I swear to God--"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her. Her cheeks were all streaked with tears. Her make-up was running, and she had her arms crossed in a reserved manner. Even in her broken form, she is still beautiful.  I need to know now. I can't stop thinking about you, and if I stop, even for a second, I'll see something that reminds me of you, and I just start smiling.

Luke must have seen where I was looking because he turned towards her and released me from my spot against the wall. I ran up the stairs and hugged Sophia impulsively. She still had her arms crossed, and she was leaning out, but even just for the moment, the feeling of her in my arms surpassed all feelings. I felt... complete. I don't even know when it happened, but it did. But I need to know if it's worth it. I need to know now if you feel the same.

I was torn away from Sophia, and before I can process what happened, she was hugging him. She had her arms around him in the way she refused to do for me. If you don't, I will leave you alone for good. I just stood there staring before realizing they were talking. Well, he was talking while she was crying. I immediately felt protective over Sophia crying, but it was because of me. I was the sole cause not Luke. Luke didn't hurt her in any way. I did. I caused her to need to go running back to him. If I could only tell her --

A door slammed. Whirling around, I saw it was the door to Sophia's bedroom. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. After a series of knocks and pounds, I stormed out of the house and towards my car. Luke isn't going to let me talk to her while he's got her in his sight. I gripped the steering wheel tightly before hearing the slight crumple of paper.

Shit. I should have put that back, I thought to myself. What if she goes looking for it? She's going to need it soon. Pulling it out of my pocket, I stare at the signed contract of STAR Records. I saw it laying there at her house, and I heard footsteps. It was my panic reaction. Liam. You can't keep screwing up.

It's really important.

I sighed and drove off unsure of what to do next.