Pink Ribbon (Liam Payne)

Chapter 32

~~~ Sophia ~~~

If she expected me to go after her, she's delusional. I only over-exaggerated so she wouldn't ask questions or go to Liam every chance she gets. She always goes to others I am sure of it. The more I thought about it, the more my anger expanded inside of me. I was contemplating calling her when it occurred to me, it isn't my fault. If she didn't press on like I knew she would stubbornly do, I wouldn't be in this mess.

I turned off the TV and headed for the bathroom to prepare for bed. While turning on the shower for a last minute shower, I sent Lenna a quick message asking if she's okay. Her house is a few blocks away.

In the shower, I start thinking. Everything that's happened so far all the way leading up until my "fight" with Lenna. Not the normal summer that's for sure. College is just around the corner, yet nothing of mine is packed and ready to go. I make a mental checklist of everything I need within the next two days. More suitcases and boxes, clothes and knick-knacks packed  -- somehow this calms me down despite my growing list of necessities. When the shower runs cold, I step out onto the cold tile wrapping a towel around me.

I should probably check my phone, but by the time I do, I am in my pajamas with my towel back to hanging on my hook in the bathroom. I take a deep breath in and open Lenna's messages.

Am I okay? You left me to walk home alone, late, in the dark. How do you think I'm doing?

~~~ Lenna

You know what? You're just selfish. You're all about me, me, me, and I'm sick of it. I am sick of your shit and your self-pity act because that's all it is ... an act. You push away people, and get upset and angry when people don't feel the same way towards you.

~~~ Lenna

I don't feel sorry for you in the least. Even if he didn't call you pathetic and tell you he never wanted to see you again I can understand why anyone would. You aren't the same person as my best friend. You're a self-centered bitch. Don't bother replying to my messages, and don't make me feel more embarrassed to have been your friend. Have fun in Florida.

~~~ Lenna

I stared down at my phone. Wow. Can I lose anyone else? I lie back in my bed thinking about all the shit I've done wrong these past few months. I don't think I'll get over every horrible thing. Maybe that's what Florida could be for me -- an escape. A new beginning where no one has any idea who I am. I could start over, and no one can tell me to be a certain way. The more I dwell on this privilege, the more I am convinced this will be good for me, and all of a sudden, past worry and doubt about college melt away. Who needs a workaholic mother and absent father? Who needs an ex-best friend? Who needs the past creeping up on them, so no matter where you turn, you are reminded of your mistakes? Florida is a new slate. A new world of possibilities, and I am flying right in the center of it. Things might be looking up after all.

******

My phone rang repetitively, and I tried to sleep in, but it kept on ringing. I answered without looking at the name.

"Is Lenna still at your house? She's not answering her phone."

Oh my God. Her mom. How did it not occur to me to call her mom? "She walked home at around midnight." Oh my God. That sounds so horrible out loud. "Did she --"

"What?! How could you let her walk home? Were you with her? Please tell me this is some joke!" This can't be happening. Please tell me she knows where she is. If she didn't make it home, then where is she? My mind is swirling with possibilities, none of which are pleasant.

"I'm so sorry! We got into a fight, and she walked home, and I haven't heard from her since. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to --" Another lie told from my mouth. I did hear from her, but somehow I don't think telling her my life problems right now would help anyone. She interrupts me before I could say anything.

"Well I hope you're happy. I know where she is. Want to know the reason she isn't answering her phone? She's at the hospital right now. So please. Whatever reason you have for leaving her alone, please, please tell me."

"Where is she? Which hospital? I'll be there in a few minutes!" I was already putting on my boots and hobbling one foot in shoe to the stairs.

"Don't you think you've done enough? You're the one who put her here in the first place. Just stop. I'll call you when I hear something, but you are not to go near Lenna."

"If you would just tell me where --" The monotone beep sounded before I could say anything else. If anything happens to Lenna, I'll never be able to forgive myself. The closest hospital is about an half an hour away give or take.

I grab my phone and keys to my car and set out for the only reasonable candidate for where she could be. I don't care if her and her mom don't want to see me. I need to know she is okay before I am swallowed by guilt. As I sit in the running car I dial a number without thinking. He picks up on the second ring.

"Hello?" A girl's voice comes from the other end of the phone call. Hesitantly, I look at the name I dialed. Liam. So why is a girl answering? Why did I call him in the first place? "You still there?"

I hung up the phone and sat there in silence. The engine's loud thumping was all I could hear. It made me uneasy, and I felt tears prick my eyes, but I persisted. It's what I deserve. I don't deserve friends or even the hunk-of-junk I'm sitting in. I don't deserve the new slate being given to me, but I'm going to take it anyways. Lenna's right. I am selfish and pathetic. With the car still in park, my mind keeps replaying everything I've ever done wrong over and over and over again. I turn on music to try to stop the memories. It helps a little, but that's all I need to set out for the hospital.