Pink Ribbon (Liam Payne)

Chapter 37

The song I had on replay the entire time writing chapter 36 and 37 was The Only Reason by 5 Seconds of Summer and You and I by One Direction, which are both personal favorites of mine :)). Anyways, here's the chapter :).

We spent hours curled up on my tiny dorm bed. After about an hour, my crying broke out over intervals. It was not as pained or constant, and Liam was able to fall asleep in that time. Feeling his steady heartbeat through his chest and hearing his light snore was enough to give comfort despite his lack of consciousness. After another hour, I took in a deep breath with Liam still sleeping beneath me. I thought back to Lenna, and my heart sank, and I began crying again despite my silent pleas to myself. Liam woke up and apologized for ever falling asleep. I wanted to protest insisting he was doing so much for me just being here but my voice was hoarse. He readjusted his arms managing to bring me closer as Olivia peeked through the door. After a loud, "Oh!" She shut the door behind her stifling a laugh from both of us. It felt beautiful to laugh, but it was immediately replaced with sadness as my mind wandered back to Lenna.

Without Lenna, I wouldn't have had this entire summer. I wouldn't have met Liam, been in the Over Again music video, gotten the job at STAR, though that ended badly, and I sure as hell would never be here with Liam. I would be alone battling my torment. Without Lenna, I would have never have gotten over my stage fright, and here I was years later at a performing arts college. As I was thinking about everything positive Lenna ever did for me, my vision cleared. In the back of my mind, I prayed I could go back in time and never be as attached to Lenna as I was, but she was such a big part of my life. She inspired me and got me through even my smallest of battles. Yes she wasn't here anymore physically, but everything she did for me will have a lasting impression on me until the day I die. Even though she wasn't here anymore physically, I could feel her every time I breathed in air. With every pump of my heart, I could picture Lenna with me, and the thought alone helped my frantic breathes and erratic heart beats slow. This set me at a temporary ease, and I finally stirred ready to talk to Liam.

"Sophia, you feeling better? I completely understand if you say no. Don't say yes because you want to act strong. It's okay, really," Liam spoke in a scratchy voice as if he just woke up. I thought again, not for the first time, how I didn't deserve his friendship. I was always a bitch to him and greedily absorbed his attention later rejecting his affection.

"It's getting easier. I miss her, and I always will, but she wouldn't want me crying over her. She said so herself in her voicemail to me. I owe her that much," I rubbed my eyes and readjusted myself so I was lying on his arm facing him.

"Voicemail? What else did she say in it?" Liam asked as he wiped a tear from my cheek before placing his hand back at his side after a moment's hesitation.

Thinking back on her voicemail, I gave a small laugh before telling him she said bye to him and Harry. "She was obsessed with Harry wasn't she? Harry always thought she had a crush on him."

I looked at him in amazement thinking back to when we first drove to the benefit concert. "Speaking of styles, I get Harry.... Remember... I get curly, " I recalled laughing. The once raging storm of sadness I had over Lenna's death now felt like a constant throbbing. Of course she meant everything to me, but this is what she wanted. She didn't want me moping about her death. She told me several times on several occasions. She wanted me living life knowing no matter what happened, she was right there with me. I love her enough to give her that.

"Did you guys plan becoming friends with us?" Liam asked with a chuckle.

"Well originally we were aiming for marriage, but we had to settle for friendship," I joked along laughing causing hair to fall back into my face. I tried to blow it away with my mouth with no avail. Liam moved the hair out of my face keeping his hand cupped on my cheek, and my stomach turned at the thought of kissing him.

"You know the rest of the band and Lenna always had this crazy notion about us?" I was fully aware of Lenna's conspiracies, but I made a questioning huh noise to say go on, so he did. "They thought one day you'd wake up and finally feel something. I always insisted you would never feel anything though. That one day I would have to wake up and forget everything we've been through and everything I've felt for you. I'd have to forget the jealousy I felt when Luke was still in the picture to our first kiss, our everything. I thought I was going to have to forget what you meant to me, and I would be busy with my life, and you would go to college. You would get married and live in some house that wasn't a cookie cutter. You would be happy, and I would have to find ways to be happy as well." My heart was in my throat, and I couldn't stand to listen to this anymore, yet I greedily stayed silent urging him to continue scared of losing this moment. "I guess what I am trying to get at here is--."

I interrupted his speech by pressing my lips to his. It didn't feel forced or like this was a big mistake or misunderstanding. It felt...right. It felt like I could stay here for hours with him kissing. It took me until this moment to realize I didn't want to have Liam forget everything we've gone through. I didn't want to get married to some guy and live in some house. I didn't want Liam to find other means of being happy. I wanted to make this work despite our schedules and commitments. I wanted him.

Just as we were starting to slow down our kiss, the door opened, and we quickly pulled away. As much as I liked Olivia, I wanted her to close the door and leave, but instead she squealed and promptly closed the door receiving a laugh from Liam and me.

I AM LITERALLY LIKE OLIVIA RIGHT NOW!!!

ANYWAYS HAPPY ONE YEAR ON WATTPAD AND HERE'S TO ANOTHER YEAR!!!! I AM SO EXCITED, AND SO HAPPY THIS CHAPTER IS ON THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!! ONCE AGAIN SOPHIA IS NOT BASED OFF OF LIAM'S GIRLFRIEND. SHE WAS NAMED SOPHIA BEFORE THEY STARTED DATING, BUT IT WAS A WICKED COINCEDENCE.

ANYWAYS... THIS STORY HAS ABOUT THREE CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGUE LEFT. THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD SAYING GOODBYE TO SOPHIA (AND LENNA ALL THINGS CONSIDERED) BUT THAT'S THE STORY. PINK RIBBON HAS BEEN SUCH A GREAT EXPERIENCE, AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR ANOTHER YEAR ON WATTPAD!!!

IF YOU'RE A FAN OF 5SOS, I HAVE A NEW FAN FICTION OUT, SO IF THAT'S YOUR SORT OF THING, ID REALLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK ON IT!!!!

LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART,

MORGAN :))))))