Post it (Minishaw)

Ch. 1

---Harry's POV---

"First day at school, fucking hell, I don't want to do this" I think to myself as my alarm goes off for the fourth time this morning, I'm not normally a snooze kinda guy but something is different today, I hope that this year will be different than last year. Last year was not fun, I would not say I was bullied, because I was never hit or anything like that, I was more excluded, and never invited to things. People would be talking about some party that everyone was invited to, but no one invited me, even if I was sitting next to the person. No one cared if I was there or not, and I have developed within myself a little bit off social anxiety. I'm very afraid off rejection so I just don't ask to be included, even tough I want to, but I just can't. 

"Harry, you need to go If you are gonna make the bus, you don't want to be late" my father calls upstairs

"YEAH, I'm just going now" I call back at him, getting dressed in a some black jeans and a black top, I mostly wear black, but I have some colored shoes, I pick my red ones, they are my favorite, even though I mainly wear black, I want my shoes to be colorful, I know that does not make any sense. But that's just me in a nutshell, I don't make sense.

I walk downstairs and I see my dad, even though he told me to hurry up he is in no hurry himself, to tell you the truth he has barely gotten out off the house in just over 3 years, He works from home so he does not need to, he has barely left the house since I came back from the hospital.

You see me, my two older siblings and my mom were in a car accident 3 years ago, it was very bad, my mom died instantly, my older brother died after two days in hospital and my sister died in my arms at the scene. I got away alive, but I was pretty hurt, I hit my head pretty badly and got a little brain bleed, I still struggle with my memory to this day, It's nothing severe, It's just faces and I forget everything very easily if I don't write them down, that's why I carry post it notes with me. If I need to do remember something I have to write it down, otherwise I will most likely forget all about it. Things that are written down are harder to forget.

Like I said I'm the worst when it comes to faces, that's why I don't have any friends, I start talking to someone at recess and I've forgotten everything about an hour later. There has to be something really special about you if I'm not to forget almost right away. But ofcouse I have not tried to hard to make friends, my social anxiety prevents me from starting up a conversation with other people. I'm to afraid off rejection, that they just don't want me there, that's now I feel most off the time

"Harry, this is a new school, Maybe this year will be different, yeah" my dad said to me and smiled, he wanted me to be happy, I was everything he had left.

"I would not get my hopes up for that" I say, giving my father a weak smile as I walk trough the door

"Harry" I hear my father yell after me

"yeah" I said turning around

"you forgot your backpack" my dad said holding up my backpack

"Ohh fuck, thanks" I said laughing as I run back and hug my dad goodbye, he was the only one that cared about me. I was also the only one he had left. There was no one else but me.

"Harry don't forget, you need to pick up milk and something for dinner after school OK" My dad called after me

"yeah I've written it down already, Don't worry" I yell back to him, then I run to the bus stop.

As I get to school I feel very uneasy, I just follow my classmates to the classroom so I wont get lost, we already had a tour off the new school, but I can't remember where we where supposed to go.

"Ohh hey Harry, I saved you a seat" Cal says to me as he pointed to a desk in the corner, me and Cal used to be best friends, but we kinda drifted apart over the last few years, it was mostly my fault, I stopped seeing all my friends after the accident, I just was to upset, I had pretty bad PTSD, that is still with me today. I did not expect a bunch off 12 year old to wait for me to be ready, of course he would make some new friends that wanted to hang out. We still talk sometimes, but his new friends Joe and Callum don't like me. No wonder why would they want to be friends with the boy who forgets everything, feels very uneasy in social situations and sometimes freaks out for no real reason at all, yeah living with PTSD is not to fun. Sometimes it just hits me like a brick. People say something or something and I get panic attacks. 

The first day goes by quite fast, I'm not thebest student, but there are subjects like History that I'm very good at, I knowthat's very ironic as I struggle with my memory, then there are subjects likeart and editing, I wanted to become a editor for movies and TV shows and allthat when I grow up, I had my mind set on that. That was something that I was very good at and I enjoyed very much.