Learn to Love Again

Alone

As the vehicle moved faster, so did her heartbeat. She felt that her heart was about to jump out of her chest at any second. And she could feel her palms getting sweaty.  She could feel some tension building up inside of her and it’s almost suffocating her. When they get to the condo, it will officially be her first time, in such a long time, to be alone with a man inside a house… inside a room. Well, except for that incident some years back.

When Cassie was just 3 years old, Sarah attended a friend’s birthday party. It wasn’t a big party but a gathering of friends with the purpose of eating, drinking and being merry. At around 10:30, she felt herself getting dizzy because of the alcohol she was able to consume. She asked her friend if she could lie down for a while. Her friend pointed to a room at the end of a hallway. She got up and slowly walked to that room. She got in the room but before she could close the door, someone followed her in. It was a guy that she had just met that night. He was also drunk.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” she asked.

 

“Medyo lasing na rin ako eh. Pwede ba akong makishare ng kama. Hihiga lang din muna ako sandali,” the guy replied.

 

“Sige, d’yan ka na lang. Lilipat na lang ako ng kwarto.” She turned around to open the door but the guy stopped her by holding on to the doorknob.

 

“Ayaw mo ba akong katabi?”

 

“Pwede ba palabasin mo na ako?” she said trying to summon all her strength. She felt dizzy and weak but her being inside a room with a drunk man made her senses work doubletime.

 

“Bakit ayaw mo pumayag? One time lang.”

 

“Padaanin mo ako!”

 

“Ang arte mo naman. Isang beses lang.”

 

Now her head started clearing up. “Sinabi nang padaanin mo ako eh!”

 

“Ano bang inaayaw mo d’yan. May anak ka na di ba? Sabi nila disgrasyada ka. Nagawa mo na ‘to before. Bakit nag-iinarte ka ngayon?”

 

She didn’t know how it happened but she felt her fist curling into a ball and her arm swinging it to the direction of his right eye.

 

“Aw! Tang-ina!” the guy shouted in pain.

 

When she saw him hold on to his eye, she quickly grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. She ran to the bathroom, which she visited a while back, shut the door and cried. She stayed there until somebody knocked on the door. “Sandali lang,” she said out loud. She splashed some water on her face, wiped it with a paper towel then went out of the bathroom. 

 

 

 “O bakit tumahimik ka na?” he suddenly asked.

“Ah… eh kasi tinamaan na ako ng pagod. Nakakapagod ‘yung preparations namin for the event at ‘yung actual event.”