I.S.O.L.A.T.E.D

I.S.O.L.A.T.E.D *So, Done with Wishes*

                 I tuned everything out , I made sure only myself was still alive , I looked up and saw Raquel there with Romelo and the nerd from my class Andre. I was asleep , I must have fell asleep while they where busy with my moms C-section. " Chica! , wake up !" she yelled while shaking me like I really was dead , I sat up quick and looked around to find half of my family in the room with flowers , teddy bears , and ballons!. I looked around and everyone had a look on their face like they were worried about me. " Chica! you where knocked out when we got here , we got kind of scared" she said touching my shoulder , I looked at her speechless trying to say something but couldn't  quite get the word out. " yo! , Avanna , Prince called me he said he wishes you good luck with the baby , and he misses you" Romelo says to me. Wow! Prince called while I was sleep , man he really does miss this world but thats another thing I had to get over, Prince wasn't going to be here at the time of my life whereI finally become a big sister , I wished in the back of my mind that he would be here , he's not. I got up and hugged my grandmother , I haven't seen my mom's side of the family since my dad died , my great-granmother was there my aunt reene , my uncle Myron , and all the others I was about to cry so i'm not alone I can count on God for alot of things , but I wanted my family here at this moment. 

      Not an hour later before the doctors came out and looked at all of us , it was a look like " Damn!,this is a big family!"  and if that is what he is thinking , then he more than right. I laughed a little then he looked at us and smiled as he said  " The surgery went excellent , Risa is doing fine , shes getting stiched up and put to rest for a while she passed out before she could see the baby , " he says " Alright! alright! , we knows she is fine! but what about the baby? "  my grandmother shouts  " it's a  boy" he tells us , they all stood up hugging eachother as the doctor nodded and walked out holding the clip board , I sat there standing up slowly smileing!. " Chica! your going to be a big sister! aren't you happy?" she says hugging me , " I am more than happy! , I feel joy" I said, something I never felt since my daddy died. I wish he was here!, actually! I wish he was the father of that newborn baby boy! , " yo! I hope the baby looks like his momma , or even you Avanna" Romelo says tapping my arm , then he grabs me hugging with a sign saying ,  " I'm Here"  I hugged him back and Raquel jumped in , all I heard was crying and heart-beats , I whiped my happy tears away so much that my eyes became red from under the lid. We sat waiting to come in to see the baby , how tiny he was , how muched he weigh , if he looked like me! or my mom! I didn't know but I wanted to know.   My grandmother pulled me aside since we were stuck waiting for another hour , she hugged me and showered me with lots and lots of nice sweet kisses , " Darling , look at you , look at how much youv'e grown " she says in her little wraspy voice. This is my daddy's mother she spolies me rotten , she gave me everything I wanted when I wanted it even thought my dad didn't think it was good. 

        I looked at her, and she looked at me like she knew what she seen in my eyes. " Darling your mother and I talked before you started going back to school , I know that man put a hurting on ya! but you are a strong girl you will get past it" she says touching my cheek , I let a tear fall on her warm soft and vain hand and I touched it and held it closer , " Yes mamwa " I said , I call her mamaw because I always have since I was three. " Listen , baby girl don't you open that next door untill you close the other one , I know daddy is gone but you got to stop being so uptight , your mother told me everything mhmmm I know everything , Avanna, strike! is what you have and I known for your whole life , but you gotta close that door before you open a new one" she says looking at me serious , but she had her nice solid pink dress on in her wheel chair. I love my grandmother she always made me happy , But ever since "that man" walked into my momma's life! , he pulled us away from the family , and seeing them is the only thing that made me happy today. " Grandmother , i'm sorry , I miss daddy you know , and I understand we all do I just miss him telling me stories and telling me don't stop dreaming! , and I never did I only stopped when "that man" walked into my life , dreaming is for kids ,it's not for me" I said to her. She unflaps her fan and starts to fan herself " I know that man putting a hurting on ya baby , but you got to forgive him , not for him but for you " she says , " forgive him? after whats he done!" I said taking my hand away almost hopping out of my seat , she grabbed my wrist and pulled me down , " when someone hurts you baby , they take over you they have power over you , you don't forgive em, they keeps the power!" she says using her arms and hands to explain what she is trying to say , " forgive him baby , and when you do, forgive yourself" she says flaping her fan faster then she smiles at me giving me a huge hug , " I love you grandmother" I say hugging her , " ohhhh I love you too sweet-heart , forever and always " she says kisses my cheek. 

    I stood there sitting next to Raquel and Romelo as the Doctor came in and asked for me and me only, I walked in there and saw my mom sitting up and awake holding this tiny little baby , he was about 5lbs and 3oz he was a tiny thing , he looked so cute and thank god! that he looks like my mother!. I walked to my mom and gave her a hug " mommy you had me scared I was way across the city" I told her , " Baby I know this little grimlin didn't wanna stay in any longer" she says holding him as she breast feeds him. "Wow , he has your lips mom" I say laughing touching his cheek with my inch finger , he flinches a little and opens his eyes , he had my dad's eyes! , wow I covered my mouth and tears fell down so quick I couldn't catch them , " I know baby! , he has your dad's eyes" she says kissing his forehead softly as he spits up little bubbles. " I can't cry momma , my eyes are burnning" I say laughing with her, hugging her, and rocking from side to side , " This is a new begning alright , we have to stick together , if we walk away every day it will rain Avanna I trust you with everything baby and I love you and you do whatever your heart tells you but dreams and wishes can only take you half way , you have to do the rest of the work " she says touching my cheek just like grandmother. I laid next to her in the bed and started to touch the boys little feet. His name  "Antonio Javon James"  The name of my father. I kissed his feet and my mom kissed my forehead. I knew from this moment I was so done with wishes and so done with tears. From that day I began dreaming again.