Torn in Two ❉ j.j

Ch 30 // Tears

-Jesy POV-

Its funny how slowly a month can go by when you have to watch someone you love forget about you.

"How you feeling?" Brianna cut me out of my thoughts at lunch at school that day.

I shrugged. "Peachy." I smiled thinly and glanced at Jack laughing along with his usual crew. The funny part was that Gilinsky was laughing with him. They were happy.

"You can't do this to yourself Jesy." I looked away as Brianna spoke again.

"What do you suggest I do?" I asked looking down now.

I felt hot with embarrassment knowing that Jack didn't even bother telling me he didn't want me. The way Brianna looked at me with pity was just awful. I felt stupid.

"Sammy's having a p - "

"Oh no thanks." I laughed and quickly declined before Brianna even finished her sentence. "Im busy."

Brianna snorted. "With what?"

"You know..." I shrugged. "Projects and stuff."

"Get over it." Brianna clicked her fingers in front of my face. "You're coming to Sammy's little thing this Friday or I'm gonna find a new best friend."

I signed. "Don't do that, I already lost your brother."

Brianna patted my hand. "I'm not doing this to make you feel bad, I just want you to get back to normal."

"I'm trying."

"Well come to the party and talk to some guys." Brianna said with a smile on her face. "It'll be so fun!"

"Fine." I groaned. "But I'm leaving early."
"Okay." Brianna held up her hands. "I just want you to let loose for one night okay?"

I shrugged. "Alright."

Brianna nodded. "To be fair, Jack does miss you."

"Yeah sure." I snorted. "Sure looks like its eating him up."

I looked over at Jack who was with Gilinsky. Laughing so happily.

"Seriously! I know my brother and he always acts like this when he's really hurting."

I sighed. "Brianna look, I think I'm just going to forget about Jack. Sure I would love to be with him..."

"Don't do that." Brianna gave me a sad look. "You and Jack are like meant to be somehow."

I shook my head. "I don't think so anymore."

Brianna didn't have time to argue as the bell rang. I hurried got up and left, only noticing now that I didn't eat and wasn't even hungry.

As I exited the cafeteria, I caught a pair of blue eyes that were all too familiar to me. But they looked away almost immediately.

-

It was almost the last period which was math. I know it was wrong but I decided I'd skip it and just sit in the library for a while. Such a rebel huh.

I sat at a desk with a book opened and somehow just got lost in it. I was so absorbed that I didn't notice someone sit in front of me.

"Earth to Jesy?" The person spoke really loud.

I looked up with confusion and half expected Jack Johnson to be sitting in front of me. But it was Jack Gilinsky.

He had an amused grin on his handsome face. I smiled but it seemed to falter at my cheeks. Why was he here? More guilt?

"Oh its you." I said. It came out a bit too disappointed than I might have liked.

"Please hold back the excitement of seeing me." Gilinsky laughed. It was a very honest laugh - like he was happy to be around me when just a few days he hated me.

I squinted a little. "May I help you with something?"

Gilinsky sighed and slowly sat back in his chair. He looked awfully comfortable around me. "I've been looking for you."

"Well you found me."

"Yeah." He nodded. "Look Jesy, I really miss you...I miss us."

I almost fell over in my seat as those words escaped his mouth. He looked at me intently, non-jokey and all. I was taken aback.

"W-what do you mean?" I frowned. I was utterly and honestly confused.

Gilinsky leaned forward. "I know things happened that you regret but I really think we should give us another go."

My eyes widened.

"I mean..." He began again. "I feel so lost without you by my side, you belong next to me."

"Jack - " I held up my hands. My face was hot with embarrassment.

"Let me finish. I just think that we had something special. A couple of really stupid impulsive and silly feelings made you fall for Johnson but...its always been you and me Jesy." He said, looking very sincere.

I gulped.

"I want that again." Gilinsky said. "I know you want it too."

There was a pause where I let all these things sink in. I felt like weird and sick inside. Was Gilinsky actually trying to ask me out again?

I sniffed. "Look Jack, I love you but - "

"God here it comes." Gilinsky signed and ran his hand over his face.

I smiled, reached out and grabbed his hand. "You were the best person I've dated G, you know that."

"But you don't love me that way." He nodded. "Why?"

I pulled my hands away this time, not wanting to hold Gilinsky while I spoke my heart out. It would feel wrong and selfish.

"Because I'm in love with Jack." I said looking down. "I know this is going to he hard for you but I owe it to both of us by saying this. I love Jack Johnson. When you were in the hospital, he was there for me...I'm not talking about the physical stuff but emotionally. He made me feel alive."

"Jesy." Gilinsky stood up.

"I felt like I was drowning and Jack saved me from myself." I felt tears spill down my cheek. "Right now...I feel like I can't breath again."

My heart was I pieces, truly.

"Don't." Gilinsky push his chair out. I looked up and saw his eyes red. "I can't bear to see you like this."

He stood up abruptly and walked out of the library. I buried my head in my arms and cried my heart out. I felt like I was suffocating and needed someone to pull me out of this dump.

But at this point, I couldn't count on Gilinsky or Jack to pull me out.