Just the Two of Us [Niall Horan fanfic]

Chapter 14: Violence is not power, but the absence of power.

I woke up with a pounding headache and I tried to get myself up but my whole body felt numb. I slightly hesitated when I walked over to my mirror, afraid of what I would look like. I almost tripped over my own feet and I glanced at myself in the mirror, my dull green eyes were rimmed in tears, my cheeks were stained with tears and my face looked splotchy. I looked like a complete mess. I ran my fingers through my hair slowly and rubbed my face afterwards, trying stay awake as I suppressed a yawn. I cried myself to sleep last night, which was something I hadn't done in ages. Normally I wouldn't cry so bad over things, but this was something different. It wasn't not because he didn't show up yesterday, it was more than that. It was because he knew how important that day was for me. He knew how important he was for me. It was a mistake to let him back in my life because now I was hurt like never before. But I wanted to stay strong,I wanted to show him I how independent I was. I always did things on my own just how I liked it. I always tried to suppress my emotions even though I knew it wasn't a smart thing to do. I could cry for hours on someone's shoulder but I just couldn't tell them how I really felt. Those words always seemed to get stuck in my throat. I could do it, I could live without Niall. I whispered the words in front of the mirror and I tried to gain confidence but some how it only made me feel weaker. I balled my hands into fists and I narrowed my eyes as I looked at myself.

"You're strong, you can do this without him,'' I whispered to myself but I ended up laughing because of how ridiculous this sounded so I made my way out of my bedroom.

I decided to clean up my apartment because I couldn't stand to see it so messy. I hated cleaning but maybe it was going to make me feel better, maybe it would also clear up my mind a bit. An hour later and I finally finished doing the the dishes, cleaning up the kitchen and vacuuming the living room when I suddenly realized I needed to get some groceries.

After a short shower I quickly pulled my burgundy jumper on and I stepped in to my destroyed jeans. Once I changed my clothes, I walked in to the living room, grabbing my car keys and purse. I quickly put my white converse on and I walked in a quick pace towards my bedroom to grab my telephone which laid on my desk. I quickly threw it in my purse and walked out.

It was cold outside and I immediately regretted not having grabbed my scarf before I walked out. I tucked my hands in my pocket as I walked towards my car and the snow tingled against my face. I quickly unlocked my car and turned the heat on as soon as I started the engine. It was quiet on the road thanks to the weather. I hummed along to the radio when my telephone went off so I quickly glanced on my phone but immediately pressed decline because it was Niall calling me. I wasn't ready for this, not now. My hands were shaking and I tried to think of something else in an attempt to keep him out of my system. Two minutes later my phone started ringing again and I sighed deep while I was waiting for the traffic light. I softly pressed my forehead to the steering wheel and I inhaled deep. This was driving me crazy.

~

I slowly walked through my local grocery store, picking up necessary items as I hummed along to the radio. I stood in front of the frozen food section, not sure whether I should eat pizza or fish tonight. I finally decided to stick with the pizza which I had been eating for three days in a row. I'll start eating healthy tomorrow, I thought by myself as I headed to the check out. I was deep in thoughts as I looked down, not noticing the person in front of me as I roughly bumped into him. I suddenly felt two hands on my shoulders while I still looked down, but as I looked up I noticed his blue eyes glancing amused at me.

I gasped, immediately recognizing his cold blue eyes. I flinched as he brought his hand up to caress my cheek and I stood there frozen.

"You've changed,'' I managed to say with a raspy voice as I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. He stayed silent as he scrabbled behind his ears. I noticed that he had gained more tattoos since the last time I had seen him. Seeing him brought back so many memories, most of them were painful memories though.