Just the Two of Us [Niall Horan fanfic]

Chapter 21: I miss your smile but I miss mine even more.

Niall's POV

''Guys,it's a fucking mess right now!'' Brian the head manager of our management  scolded as he thumped his fist on the wooden desk in front of him. Shifting in my seat, I glanced at the boys next of me, neither of them making eye contact me. I knew I screwed it up big time right now but weirdly enough I didn't even feel guilty or mad; I was happy with the way I dealt with it. I just chased after my own luck, how can you possibly get mad at me for doing that? I knew I was being naive right now but sometimes it was better to act naive than to face the truth. 

''We're going to Australia in a week, but that seems almost impossible with all the mess you've made, Niall,'' he threatened, while pointing an angry finger at me. His long, pale fingers were wrapped around his pen before throwing it on the ground, breaking it into little pieces. 

''You don't understand,'' I spat. I can tell he's seething by the way his fists clench and his  booming loud voice.

''You, Mr. Horan, need to shut the fuck up right now,'' he said angrily, but he doesn't intimidate me. They would never throw me out of the band, that was impossible. A slight fear crept into my heart as he narrowed his eyes at me, his height towering over my own. I had absolutely no idea what to do; what could I possibly say to satisfy him? Telling him to split up with Emma wouldn't be the answer because I knew deep down in my heart that I couldn't be apart for her anymore. She's the one for me, I don't need anyone else, it's only her that matters to me. She's the one I think about when I wake up and the one I think about when I'm trying to sleep. I had always been a little afraid for relationships; I had been always afraid to completely commit myself and maybe I still am. But for Em I'm willing to try. 

''I'm going to say this loud and clear because you obviously didn't understand me the first time. You and Emma isn't happening, it isn't Niall. Do you know how much it took to make the fans like Taylor, even though they already knew here? Imagine what happens when Emma's your girlfriend. We've seen things on twitter about her, there are already pictures of her on the internet. I know she's your ex-girlfriend, but it was different that time. You guys were rising stars back then, not the international superstars you are now. It was much more easier hiding her from the paps back then than it is now. It isn't simple anymore Niall,'' he was now finished with his pathetic little speech, making me want to roll my eyes at him. I know he's right, but that doesn't mean I have to give in to what he is telling me.

They are still forcing me in a relationship so nothing's changed. What I was about to say wasn't maybe a clever thing, but I had to stand up for myself right now to make my point clear for once and for all. This was tiring me, I was fighting for a while now and it seemed like there was no end, but maybe this would end it. Maybe this would finally give me some rest. I stared straight ahead, sitting rigidly in my chair, as he examined me from top to bottom.

''And now Brian, you have to listen to me. I'll tell you this one time and one time only,'' I began, placing my hands on his desk, crossing my arms. His angry face was replaced with a surprised look which he obviously tried to hide from me, failing miserably. Tugging at my arm, Liam tried to get my attention so my eyes darted upon him as he shook his head no, trying to prevent me from causing a scene. He didn't understand, I had to do this in honor to make things somewhat right.

''I love Emma, with all I have and I can't be without her anymore. I tried, I definitely tried so don't bring that up anymore because I can't do it, I can't be apart from her. I've falling out of love with Taylor, it's sad but that's the way it is so making me stay with her is not the option it's suffocating. Being apart from Em feels like my heart has been ripped out, is that what you want? Do you want me to be depressed, do you want me to cry myself to sleep because I'm not allowed to kiss the love of my life? Whatever you want Brian, it's not happening. It's love we're talking about, do you even have a fucking heart?''