uh no thank you

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I got guns in my head and they won't go.

Spirits in my head and they won't go.

But the gun still rattles-

I stop my quiet singing when I feel something kick my foot and look up to see Blake looking back down at me. I sigh softly and pause my music taking my head phones out and scoot over on the tree so he can sit next to me. I came a little early to school since I didn't want a lecture from my mom at breakfast saying how great Dylan's been doing, how his professors adore him even after three years, I just wanted some quiet. Guess that's too much to ask for these days.

"You okay?" He sits down next to me staring out at the parking lot and I sigh softly.

"Yeah, you?" I roll up my headphones around my phone and place it in my back turning my head to look at him.

"I'm not the one that had a panic attack." He looks back at me and places his hand on my knee. I grab his hand and place it on his knee instead.

"True, and I appreciate you helping me but I'm fine. You don't need to look out for me, lunkhead." I laugh softly and nudge his shoulder with mine causing a small smile to come from him.

"Hey, someone has to." He shrugs slightly and I turn my head to look back out at the parking lot, a few students are arriving now, walking straight into the school with a few glances at us. I hug my stomach as Blake and I sit in silence, not the awkward one, more like a comforting silence. "Why wasn't anyone with you?" He says after awhile.

"I-" I begin and pause taking a deep breath, I shake my head.

"I said I was good at keeping secrets." He wraps an arm around my shoulder and I tense up.

"I- well... I was upset with my friends over some stuff. And I don't know I began overthinking and then I began to panic. Next thing I know my anxiety just hit me like a fucking truck." I let out a long sigh slumping over, leaving his arm.

"You had a fight with your friends?"

"Kinda."

"Is that why they keep looking at us?" I look up and look in his general gaze to see Mac, Layla, Peyton, Molly, and Derek all there staring at us. I sigh softly and shrug Blake's arm off getting up and brushing my jeans off. I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder then grab my helmet looking at Blake as he stands up as well. "Where you going?" He asks.

"Class?"

"Which one, Idiot?" He taps my forehead and I roll my eyes.

"English." I walk off the grass and on to the side walk walking into the school. I stare straight ahead of me the entire time not daring to look at my friends or behind me.

"Hey." I feel two arms wrap around me from behind and I gasp pushing them away turning around to face them my fist clenched and raised ready to punch someone. "Chill, it's me." Adam says and I sigh dropping my hand.

"Don't scare me like that." I begin walking again towards my class.

"It was a hug?" He says walking next to me and I sigh.

"Okay okay sorry just a little on edge." I stop by my locker opening it and putting my helmet in glancing as he leans against the lockers next to mine.

"Oh fuck gummy bears." He reaches in and grabs one the packets of gummy bears from the plastic bag from yesterday. I bought them for Mac forgot to give them to him I guess, I sigh internally.

"You can take one." I say closing my locker and he smiles.

"Thank you, well let's go to class." He links our arms and I stumble next to him confused as we walk in and walk to the back of the room he sits down at a chair and pats the chair next to him. I sit down slowly putting my bag on the desk.

"I don't remember-" I begin.

"Skipped first period yesterday, I got a little.. Caught up." He grins and opens the packet shoving a gummy bear in his mouth.

"Who were you fucking in the janitors closet?" I laugh.

"I- wasn't- how did you know-"

"Classic popular guy fucking area cliché." 

"Hey-" He begins and I put my finger up to my lips as the teacher walks in and face forward holding back a laugh, this going to be interesting.

~

I grumble to myself walking into the detention room and walk to the back throwing my bag down and sit down angrily. Adam spent the entire damn class trying to convince me he wasn't a cliché, causing both of us to get fucking detention because we were being disruptive. I was so pissed that I ignored him for the rest of the day. The teacher walks in and sets his bag down at the desk and sighs sitting down pulling out a piece of paper. Adam walks in and looks at me smiling and I huff quietly looking down at the desk. I hear him sit down next to me and a few other students walking in. The teacher takes rolls and now detention begins.

Fucking Adam keeps throwing shit at me and I'm this close to punching him. I turn my back to him and keep scrolling through my phone ignoring a few messages coming from Molly and Mac.

Mac ;D: We're sorry, please talk to us. Or talk to me at least.

Molly: Stop begin angry.

Molly: I'm sorry. I love you?

"Alright, I'm leaving but you guys have another hour so.... Stay." The teacher grabs his bag and gets up walking out the door. I sigh and lock my phone placing it on the desk.

"Finally thought he'd never leave. Hey Alex, you still mad?" Adam says leaning over and poking my side gently and I feel my eye twitch. I stand up and grab my bag and phone walking out of the classroom. "Hey wait for me!!" He calls and I walk faster to my locker.

I reach my locker and unlock it grabbing my helmet and staring at the packet of gummy bears. I overreacted, fuck. I groan loudly and grab the packet of gummy bears slamming the locker shut.

"Woah listen I'm sorry I got us detention but calm down." I hear Adam say and I shake my head.

"It's not you, it's just I'm an idiot." I begin walking down the hall Adam walking next to me. I walk to the main office and go to the front desk. "I forgot my locker combination, can you give it to me? It's locker #547." I say to the lady and I hear her sigh typing on the computer. She takes out a sticky note and writes a few numbers on it, I thank her and walk out of the office walking down the hall looking for Mac's locker.

"Don't you-" I shush Adam and walk in front of the the locker putting in the combination and unlocking it. I place the gummy bears on top of his books and grab a pen from the bottom of the locker writing 'I'm sorry. <3' on the sticky note with the combination. I throw the pen back in and close the door sighing turning around to look at Adam.

"What now?"

"Motorcycle ride!!"

"From you?"

"Yeah!"

"Uh no thank you."



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