Becoming Badass

Night, Beautiful

I let my arms hang down, I'm currently laying on my bed with my top half hanging over the edge of the bed, my stomach up to the ceiling. As soon as I got home my mom screamed at me for a good long while until her voice was gone, but I kept trying to explain to her she never said I couldn't go out. But now that I think about it, that was really stupid of me, she just angrier and angrier until I'm pretty sure she popped a vein. Now for the first time ever, I'm grounded. I didn't go out for the rest of the day and I spent the entire day up in my room today, I'm just wasting away waiting for school to start tomorrow. I grab my phone and unlock it, looking at the time 8 pm, 12 more hours until school. I begin playing some music and throw my phone back on my bed, groaning, I'm so fucking bored.

"Alex?" I hear Dylan say as he knocks on my door.

"It's open." I mutter staying in the same place, my face becoming red from the blood rushing to it. Maybe I should sit up... Nah, if I pass out, I pass out. I watch as Dylan walks in with a bag and he turns his head slightly.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Peachy." I say give him a thumbs up, or more like an upside down thumbs up, and he nods his head.

"I brought you food." He holds out the bag and I sit up quickly.

"Woah, wait, head rush." I grab my forehead squeezing my eyes and feel the bed dip down slightly. I grab the bag and open it up to find chicken nuggets and fries. I reach in and begin eating the fries, grabbing my phone turning off the music. "Thank you," I say with a mouth full, and Dylan nods his head again. We sit in silence except for the occasional crinkle of the bag.

"You're right." Dylan says after a while and look at him confusion. "About siblings having to look out for each other. You always covered for me and I never helped you. So when your friends came over to take you to the party, I thought turning a blind eye would help. So you could have fun, but I guess that didn't work out how I planned. And I can't even really make up for any of it since I'm leaving tomorrow."

"It's already been a week?" I butt in and Dylan nods his head.

"Drama makes time fly. I'm sorry, Alex, I'll try to be a better brother from now on. I tried to get mom to lighten up on you, but again that didn't work. I'm not as good as this as you are. I mean, hell, when we were in that fucking ice cream parlor after you screamed at me, you still gave me ice cream afterwards and didn't run to tell our parents all the shit I did. I know that my little sister is becoming a grown up, and our parents adding a whole bunch of stress on you isn't exactly good for you. I just I don't understand why are you going out to parties, why are you punching people, and why are you getting suspended? It's hard to support you when you make shitty decisions." He sighs taking a fry from me and I roll my eyes.

"Gee thanks... It's not like I'm trying to get in trouble. I didn't want to go to that party, I was defending my friends from the schools bitch who's tortured everyone since middle school, I was finally standing up to her, I didn't want to get suspended, I mean- I guess I wasn't thinking."

"Just..." Dylan sighs again putting his hands on my shoulders. "When I leave, try to watch what you're doing. I really don't want you ending up like me, I barely graduated, Alex. I don't even know how I got into college, please, be careful. You have your entire life to cause chaos, but don't do it the last year and screw up all the hard work you've done."

"It's only the second week of school."

"And you've already gotten suspended."

"Good point." I slump my shoulders over slightly, looking at my grease covered fingers.

"Just think about your actions, okay?" Dylan says getting up and I nod my head. "Night, I love you, Alex." Dylan wraps an arm around me giving me a small squeeze and walks out of my room, closing the door. I keep staring at my hand as I feel tears come to my eyes, and put the bag down, wiping my eyes, and hugging my pillow. I've never really had a heart to heart with my brother, I always looked up to him when I was younger, but I never felt like we had that close sibling bond you see others have. I mean yeah they fight, but they always forgive each other at the end of the day, I've never felt like I've had that. You're suppose to be able to count on your family whenever but, with me it always feels like a gamble. One that I've given up on taking and thinking something good will come out of it.