The Hell of Titans.... What Did I Do To Deserve this? [SnK/AoT Fanfic]

Chapter 57

*First person pov*

     The fire was cackling and popping, like it was laughing at me... my lies I was feeding. "Screaming was heard... both my Mommy's and Alice's screams. 'Not my left eye! Please! Anything but that! I don't want to die! No! Help me Mommy! Daddy!' was what Alice said before her session started. I wanted to gather all my strength to help her... But I was bleeding out... I couldn't move... Since she was at the right of me... I couldn't see out of my peripheral vision to see what was happening. All I could do... was just plead to god silently to knock her unconscious so she didn't have to feel what I felt... She is only four... four! But no... God had to be so cruel and just let her be conscious... Feel every stab... poke... her flesh torn apart... It was scarring to hear her screams. I wanted everything to stop. It went on for far too long.... so long I began to think: 'C'mon, just die already!' Die already... Huh? What is wrong with me? Thinking about how I wanted my precious little sister to just die... I guess I was going insane since, well... nobody want's to hear someone be tortured right next to you... hearing their screams for eternity... It's scarring... Alice was now unconscious... to much to my young self's relief, but then I was forcefully sat up by my hair so I can look around with my new limited vision. There was my parents, who were bawling as they looked at us. Mommy had a gun pointed to her head with a man holding her by the hair... Daddy was struggling against the man that held him from running to Mommy...tears streaming down her face as she cried for me and Alice... telling us to live... a shot rang out, and a puddle of blood lied under Mommy's body. Daddy looked utterly broken... When the man walked over to him, he didn't move or nothing... he was just frozen. It's like he didn't care anymore. He stick the gun in Daddy's mouth then blasted his head open. And... they were laughing. Like this was the funniest thing in the world.... What's so funny about killing people that's just like you? I don't even know... The guy who was holding me up by the hair drops me and I was lied down. They left me and my sister be... probably thinking I'll just bleed to death..... slowly in pain and agony. But being the dumbasses they are, they didn't even consider the fact that guns are loud. Not long after... The Military Police barged in and rescued me and my sister. We were both saved... they bandaged our eyes up... but that didn't bandage the holes in our hearts. The Military Police told us that we were going to an orphanage... but I just ran with Alice in my arms... I don't why... I'm just dumb... I thought if I went back to my house, my parents would be alive and happy right there... But no, when I got there a few hours later it was empty and dark... just like my heart then." I said as hugged my legs tighter. God, I'm writing a novel here. None of this is true... "So... for the next two years... we just... kinda wandered around the walls as wandering orphans until we settled in a village in the south of the Walls... We stole for food, earning our names 'right' for me and 'left' for Alice because our appearances since we were missing eyes... We didn't trust anybody... since our first experience humans were awful... I don't know why Alice sticked by my side.... I was the reason why our parents died but... she forgave me and I love her to death... But I didn't think death would come so soon. That day, 5 years ago... Alice was just another casualty in a sea of casualties that day... Not only did she die... but so did I... I died inside... Next three years I just wandered around dead inside.... stealing only to survive.... since Alice's last words was 'live on!' So I just lived just to fulfill Alice's last wish. I was walking around Trost and some lady walks up to me... She knew I was an orphan and wanted to take me in... That was Jean's mother." I said as I glanced at Jean, he sleeps like a little kid, it's cute. NOT that I think he's cute in that way... he's my bro. "Being the little brat I was, I thought I'll just stab them in the back and run off.... But I guess getting to know Jean and my new Mom... I guess they healed my heart and I moved on... but that doesn't mean the scar isn't there...." I said as I got up and walked over to Jean and crouched down to his sleeping body. I brush his hair out of the way and his lip quivered from contact a little. I smiled softly. "I... I love Jean to death, as siblings, of course.... I would die for him...." I said as I stood back up and looked at Levi. "We're all in the Survey Corps... People wouldn't come here without some demons... otherwise that'll be just stupid. You have your demons, right? It's fine to let them out every once and a while... You're hurting, Levi. You can tell me all about it... please... It helps." I said as I sat back down next to him. "... I don't know...." Levi said, unsure. "You don't have to tell me... I'm just telling you you can tell me about it. I'm only telling you my life story to show you you're not alone." I yawned before continuing. "I'm going back to sleep... Night Levi, you're welcome to come into my bag anytime." I said as I got up and started walking to my bag. I got into my bag and fell asleep.