Intoxicated

Chapter 22

"Cam" I called out seeing him in standing front of me farther in the field as I walked yet didn't seem to move an inch. I thought I called his name loud enough that I was sure he could hear me but I guess not. Couldn't even signal due to his back being to me.

I tried walking faster, but it felt like I still wasn't going anywhere. That's when I started to panic.

All I could do was try to scream and get his attention but, I still got nothing, no one else was even here but us. I was confused and now scared. Why couldn't he hear me? Why couldn't I make it to him? I continued to scream and try to run to him but I was still stuck in this space, too far away from him.

He finally turned in my direction and I instantly put my arms in the air hoping he would see me but, I still had no luck. I still couldn't move closer and he still didn't hear me.

Something was wrong. His hair was crazy, his face was red, eyes puffy... it looked like he was crying. What the hell was going on? Why the hell was he standing in the field alone and unable to see me? Why was he hurt? Why couldn't I comfort him?

"Carter" he whispered. I froze in place for a second watching him. I was here but he didn't see me. "I'm sorry.... I know I told you I would move on but, I can't. I can't do this without you. I don't want to do this without you. I want to be with you for eternity" he whispered looking down...

What the fuck! Was I dead? No I was here! I was right in front of him!

I screamed his name over and over at the top of my lungs hearing my voice crack. "Cameron I'm right here!" I called out trying to run to him scared of what he would do next. Just by the way he looked, I could tell he wasn't thinking clearly, he lost hope.

He looked at his ring and slid it off without hesitation. Seconds later he was in flames.

I cried, screamed witnessing him take his life without much of a thought and I felt so powerless, so far away from him. He was gone and I had to stand here watching it.

I cried out collapsing as I heard someone yelling my name.

I was being shaken hard as the voice became more urgent. I opened my eyes to see his green eyes wide and his arms around my body holding me scared. It was just a dream but, it felt so real to me. I thought I lost him. I instantly pulled him in holding him as I cried in fear.

"It's just a nightmare. Everything's okay" he whispered but I couldn't let go of him and stop crying. He held onto me as I continued crying. He kissed my head reassuring me everything was okay.

It took about 15 minutes to completely calm down and actually speak. I laid down facing him and holding him tight as if he would disappear like in my nightmare. He didn't say anything just laid there rubbing my back knowing this was all I needed right now.

After a while, I looked up to him and his eyes were on me. Couldn't imagine what he was thinking right now. Probably confused and a little annoyed. Not the best way to wake up in the middle of the night.

"Sorry" I whispered not knowing what else to do. I woke him up with me screaming over a dream. He frowned watching me as his hand came up to my cheek rubbing it "Nothing to apologize about, it's okay" he responded and I looked down still feeling guilty for it.

I was thinking about what Harry said all day and of course it took over my thoughts. What can you do with that information? Panic and cry "You were scared Carter. As long as you're okay, it's fine" he reassured.

I just nodded not responding to him. "Do you want to talk about it. I know yesterday you didn't want to talk about why you were upset but, I'm here love. I want you to be able to talk to me" he whispered gently touching my arms then down to my fingers.

I instantly shook my head then thought about it. Yesterday after Harry told me everything I broke down and as soon as I realize he would feel it I tried to hide it. That didn't stop him from coming back home to check on me and I could tell he didn't believe me but he dropped the subject. And I'm sure he asked Harry and Sarah to keep an eye on me until he was able to get back home.

Now the nightmare.

I didn't want to keep him out but I wasn't sure how to even talk about it. How would he react.

"I was a little-" "Little?" he cut me off asking and I sighed looking up to him "Okay I mean, I was really scared" I closed my eyes seeing the flames instantly and I opened my eyes seeing his green ones calming me down.

"I dreamt... you killed yourself" I whispered with my heart pounding. He was silent for a bit instantly making me nervous. Maybe I should have kept it to myself.

He pulled me closer taking a deep breath then kissed my head "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere" he whispered against my head. I nodded biting my lip as I snuggled closer.

He picked my head up and made eye contact "I'm not going anywhere Carter. I love you more than you can imagine. I have everything I want with you, why would I ever give it up" he whispered before kissing me. Of course he wouldn't now but what about when I got old?

I pulled away to speak needing to know about the other part "What about when-" he cut me off kissing me again not even letting me pull away from his lips.

He was already making me forget about it all.