Intoxicated

Chapter 30

Cam POV

I took a deep breath hearing her crying in the basement. I was so close to losing my shit.

I didn't know what to do, what happen out there was a mistake and it was stopped before any damage was done. I wish she would see that but, she wouldn't.

As soon as she came to her senses, guilt, embarrassment and disgust came rushing into her and it has stayed with her till this very moment. I tried to talk to her she wouldn't listen. Nothing changed if anything, it was worse. She was close but I stopped her in time. I wouldn't let her do something she would regret, or at least try not to.

She cried more than I've seen in years and it broke my heart. Feeling how much she hated herself and who she was right now made it worse.

"Maybe this was a bad decision" I whispered wishing I said no when she asked. If I knew she would be like this I would have said no in a heartbeat. I would take her being mad and hating me over her hating herself like this.

I needed to fix this.

"It's not" Sarah said shaking her head. "Every new vampire has to go through this" she stated standing across from me. It was true everyone in this house dealt with it and probably did worse. I know I did. But, damn this was just the worse time to deal with this. She was going to be overwhelmed. I should have waited.

"I wish I at least waited a few more days. The wedding is tomorrow " I panicked running my hand through my hair. She's gonna suffer because I couldn't wait a few fucking days later. I could have did it on our honeymoon. We would be alone and she could focus on controlling herself.

I should have fucking waited. I couldn't imagine how hard this would be for her.

"Relax Cam... I think she came to her senses. The way she feeling is enough for her to fight even harder now. This is her family and friends. She would fight harder to keep them safe, even from herself" Harry said walking over to us. I didn't respond.

She would still suffer from her natural instincts.

"He's right. I think she'll fight harder but, we'll still be there making sure nothing will happen. This is your big day all you need to do is enjoy it" Sarah reassured as I took a deep breath thinking of how I could fix this. I couldn't enjoy it if she didn't. This was our day but it was all for her.

I just nodded giving them a small smile as I tried to figure out how to stop her from hurting.

That was the biggest issue. She hates herself. Nothing was going to get through to her right now and now I wasn't sure if having the wedding right now was right at the moment.

She was my first priority. I'm pretty sure she would be fine postponing the wedding. But what about her family? They were coming. Maybe I should try again to talk to her. If we had to, we would change the date.

"I know she'll need you to be there the most like you are now" Harry said pulling me out of my thoughts. "You stopped her in mid-hunt. And she stopped and realized what she was doing. That was on the first day. We couldn't even do that in the first six months and her even staying in the basement after shows how strong she is" Sarah added.

I closed my eyes leaning on the wall realizing they were right. She wasn't giving herself any credit for what she accomplished in a day but, she was better than all of us. I needed her to see that.

I bit my lip knowing I didn't have much of a choice. "Thank you" I whispered quickly heading to the basement where she stayed all day, hoping I could help. She wasn't crying anymore and that was probably because she was all cried out now. Now she was just sitting with her knees to her chest tightly in silence but I felt the hate, I felt the guilt.

I sat in front of her pulling her closer in silence. She wouldn't make eye contact she wouldn't even move from her position.

I took a deep breath hating this "Don't beat yourself up about this... Carter you didn't hurt anyone, you came to your senses baby" I whispered and she instantly pulled away and her breathing picked up and the tears came again.

"I almost did. I was so close, so close to-" "But you didn't Carter. Every person in this house was in the same position. Do you know how long it took them just to do what you did in one day? It took months, It took me years. You're doing better than anyone here and I'm so proud of you" I whispered grabbing her hands holding them as I felt hers shaking.

"I don't know if I can do it. My family is going to be here if som-""Have more faith in yourself love. Nothing is gonna happen" I reassure- promised. I wouldn't allow it. None of us would Carter" She looked up to me as tears fell from her big brown eyes. My heart ached to see her like this. No matter what I did I couldn't fix it.

"How can you be so sure of that? I don't think I can. It's Tomorrow Cam..." I squeezed her hands "I know you can" I stated positive she could but, I knew she would suffer a bit. That was think though. It didn't matter that she could do it but, knowing that it would even be a little difficult hurt. All I could try to do was convince her she was strong enough.

"Remember when I almost hurt you? I didn't think I could even be near you after that and you helped me. You reassured me I was strong enough. You gave me faith, Now it's my turn" I said grabbing the ring out of my pocket.

You watched me shaking my head still not accepting it. I just grabbed her shaking hand and slid a ring with a sapphire on it watching her closely as she looked down at it.

"Carter" I whispered and she looked up to me "I wouldn't give you this sun ring if I didn't think you could do it. You're a strong-minded person and that's one of the million reasons why I love you so much"

Her sadness and anger slightly disappeared but not enough. I knew she would still be hesitant to have the wedding.

Only one thing left to try. Never thought I would but I couldn't let her sit here with all this self-hate. She didn't deserve it. She deserved happiness and nothing less from me.

I sighed "Carter... just look at me for one second" I whispered. She was hesitant but, she did it and I compelled her.

"Yes you made a mistake but, that doesn't change who you are. You're strong. You can fight the urge. You're strong enough and I will be there to help you. I love you. Don't forget that"