Love is Blind >*ON HOLD - Editing* <

41 - Blind

Chapter 41

A week later

I took my bag and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed some toast and stuffed it in my mouth. I bumped into darnell on my way out. How i've been avoiding him in his own home i do not know but trust me, i've managed to do it. Luckily he always has people around so it helps. And when he doesn't I just pretend i'm asleep. Thankfully he was on the phone. He just winked at me and carried on with his conversation. I was about to head out when I realised that I had left my phone. Damn! I went back into the room and found it on the bed. I walked back out bumping to him again.

"Where you going?" He asked

"Home" I said

"Why?"

"Because I live there" I said

"Yeah well I told you I don't want you going back there" He said

"Well I don't have a choice darnell. It's my house."

"You're gonna be by yourself though Cass,"

"Haven't I always been by myself?" I said opening his front door.

He slammed it shut in front of me and turned me around to face him. He wasn't happy. He screwed me. It didn't help him being taller than me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He said

I ignored him. I just looked down.

"Go on." He said

"It means exactly what it means! I've ALWAYS been by myself"

"So what.. Im there just for fun yeah?" He asked

I shrugged.

"Cassie what's wrong with you? Ever since you've been with Damien you've changed. You're different. After the attack you've been so fragile it's like I have to tread carefully around you. And the hosp- ..The hospital. I told you I- ..I told you I loved you and you just changed the subject like it was nothing." He said

"BECAUSE I-" I kept quiet .. 

This was only gonna turn into a silly argument.

"You what?" He asked

"How do you expect me to believe that you LOVE ME? You're constantly moving from girl to girl to girl. If it's not girls its your business Darnell" I sighed

He leant in closer to me so that we were chest to chest. I could smell his favourite collogne. He kissed my cheek, and my neck and then my lips. It was as if I was hypnotised by his lips. I fell back into reality and stopped him.

"This is what I mean Dee. You're just playing me about"

"You should KNOW that I love you because you're my bestfriend." He said

"Yeah when you want me to be" I muttered

"I'm gonna pretend I never heard that cos I'm not looking to argue. Just know that all them times I've been there for you it's because I loved you. The times you didn't get on with your mum, or the things that happened with kev ..I was there for you because I loved you. Even up until NOW ..You left me for that dickhead yute and look at what happened. But I was the one who helped you. Now tell me I don't love you." He said with a straight face.

"I don't know if im ready darnell" I said honestly

"Yeah but you're ready for damien innit" He said

"Can we leave him out of this please. Besides. You haven't even officially broken up with Leila. You were supposed to do it last week" I said

He sighed and backed away.

"It's complicated" He said

"Complicated? COMPLICATED?"

"It's not easy" He said

"No darnell. You can't tell me you love me when you clearly love her" I said

"I don't love her, I just-"

"Don't you? You've been with her for long"

"It's hard for me Cassie. I don't know. I don't know what I want ..Who I want." He said

"You love her Darnell. I know you. Just follow you heart." I said picking up my bag and walking out

 I crossed the road and went to my front door. Liz was standing outside my house. She turned around. She looked as if she'd been crying. She smiled and said 'Hi'

"Hey." I said..

"You ok?" She asked

"I'm fine thanks"

"Can I.. come in?" She asked

"Erm, yeah sure" 

I unlocked the door and opened it. The house was an absolute mess, there was glass everywhere, letters and pictures everywhere, a bit of blood on the doors. Looking at it made me go all teary. Liz gasped when she saw it. The flashbacks just came in and out of my head. I placed my bag down and began tidying up. I couldn't take this. I got a broom and swept the glass off the floor.

"Do you need any help?" She asked

I looked up at her .."Yes please" I nodded..

*

We were done about 2 hours later. I was knackered. On the bright side my house looked so much cleaner. I had scrubbed all the blood off and tidied up. I went into the kitchen to make us some hot chocolate. She came in and sat down.

"You going to darnell's birthday drink up/party?" I asked her

"Erm i don't know. When is it?" She asked

"In 3 days. Its only close friends and family" I said

"Hmm ..maybe"

"So what's wrong?" I asked her putting our hot chocolates down

"Nothing I just-" ..She stopped

"You just what?"

"I just can't get my head around all of this. Damien ..you ..Are you sure he- ..naa nevermind" She rushed

"Am I sure he what? ABUSED ME? So you think I'm LYING?"

"Well ..No! I didn't say that" She said 

"Lizzie you're supposed to be my FRIEND" I said

"BUT HE'S MY COUSIN!" She said crying

I scoffed and then laughed..

"So because he's your cousin I'm lying? So I beat myself up? And lied about the rape? ELIZABETH HE PUT ME THROUGH HELL FOR MONTHS! DECIEVED ME INTO BELIEVING THAT HE LOVED ME!"

She looked away. I shook my head. I couldn't believe her right now.

"NO CASSIE. All of this is YOUR FAULT. You want to be loved SO MUCH that YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU! DARNELL BLATANTLY LOVES YOU AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT! CASHEL ONCE LIKED YOU! AND LEMME GUESS YOU DIDN'T KNOW! ..You're just blinded by love Cassie. And you don't even know it" She said.

She picked up her bag and left. I broke down in tears. I don't even know what to do with myself. My phone vibrated. It was a text from darnell.

From: Darnell x

Think what you wanna think. It

don't stop me from loving you.

I cried harder. I didn't know what I wanted. I think I love him but how can I be so sure? I took my phone and strolled up the stairs. I opened my bedroom door and went straight for my bed.

My life is a mess.

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Very short, stay tuned for the next chapter