The Bad Boy Returns

Chapter 48: Focus On The Good

SHANE'S POV

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something." My dad says as he barges into my room. He's got his signature lawyer suit on although it's wrinkled and the top buttons are undone with the tie hanging loosely from his neck.
I'm currently laying across my bed, watching my little television in the corner of my room. Sitting up from my position I sit at the edge of my bed, looking over to him.
He didn't refer to me as dude or any other friendly name. That's how I know whatever he is talking about is deemed as important.

"What's up dad?" I scrunch my eyebrows. He sighs deeply, staring out of my window.
I raise an eyebrow waiting impatiently for him to say something. Whatever he came here to say.
"How are you feeling?" He says before sighing again.
I shrug. "Tired I guess. What's wrong?" I ask outright, my patience wearing thin.
"Your mom wanted me to talk to you about this and I think you should talk about it." He says, vaguely taking a seat on the small couch across from my bed.
"Maybe I will, if you tell me what I should be talking about exactly..." I state, snapping slightly.
"You saw what happened. To Kat I mean. That's something you should have never seen. It shouldn't have ever even happened to begin with." He tried and fails to explain to me. "So when I ask about how your feeling, I mean mentally. Something like that really messes with the head." He continued looking pained as the words fell out of his mouth.
My jaw clenches at the mention of it, and I glare at the wall behind him. "It obviously messed you up too." He notices my change in posture and facial expressions.
"It was three years ago and I was in a police car, there's not much more to it on my end." I say coolly, shrugging it off.

What I saw was nothing compared to actually going through it. We should be focusing on Kat right now.

"I know it happened a while ago but I know as much as you do that it is still integrated into your mind despite what you want to believe." His tone goes from soft to firm in a matter of seconds. He's not having any of my crap today and I can tell.
"If you don't want to tell me then you can talk to mom." He suggests giving me choices. My eyes widen at his words. I shake my head but he puts a hand up. "She is a psychiatrist. She deals with things like this everyday." He continues but I continue to deny it.
"Well you have to talk to someone Shane. You've held this in for three years and you can't function like that." He just keeps going.

My eyes wander around the room, landing on one of Kat's jackets swung over my desk chair. I lift my eyes further seeing my reflection in the mirror. I see the anger spilling out of my expression.
I bite my lip before sighing.
"I recognized the truck." I mumbled causing my dad to look back at me. He urges me to keep going. I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at the ends.
"I was handcuffed and should have been focusing on getting arrested but all I saw was that damn truck, you know?" I smile bitterly. I've never actually talked about what I saw, I kind of thought you know if I don't say anything it won't do anything to me. That's not the case.
"It was out of place, it was just sitting across the street from the house by an empty field. I found it odd that his car was there but he wasn't around." I tell him, a lump sitting in my throat.

"She was screaming. It's still so clear in my head. It was such a bloodcurdling sound. It still irks me that no one heard or saw anything." I flex my knuckles back and forth.
"When I was in the jail cell that's all I heard. Over and over again it played in my head every night. Even now I can still hear it when I sleep or when I start thinking about it." I admit unable to stop myself from revealing everything.

"I watched her get thrown out of the truck, crying. She landed right on the concrete, blood from between her legs coming down. She had a ripped t-shirt on, that's it." My voice trembles.
"I still can't get that image out of my head." I say through clenched teeth giving him a sad grimace. I feel tears spring to my eyes, threatening to spill.

"That's when I realized what was going on and I tried to pull away from the officers. I was already in the car at this point. I was yelling and pointing but they wouldn't pay attention. I don't know why." I feel a single tears roll down my cheek. "I felt helpless. I could have helped her. Maybe stopped it. They wouldn't let me go." I started saying more to myself than to my dad at this point. I run my hand down my mouth in frustration. I see him watching me sullen eyes, lightly shaking. I decide to turn it around.

"But you know what? I also remember when we were in her living room and I was sitting on the couch. She started dancing around looking happier than I've ever seen and when she was asleep next to me and she looked so peaceful as if nothing bad had ever been done to her." I smile at the memory remembering how embarrassed she was that I was watching her sleep. "Or when I kissed her at the top of the ferris wheel and she had the cutest grin on her face. Those are also stuck in my head along with the others." I tell him and all he does is smile before giving me a confused look.
"What are you trying to say Shane?" He asks plainly.
"All I'm saying is that, yeah all that bad stuff is there but I also have a lot of good right now. With her. I try to see the happy. I'll be fine I promise." I try to explain to him the entire reasoning why I haven't talked about it. I'd never admit that it did help to talk about it though. "Focus on the good right?" I quote what he said when I was younger and my parents split up.
"I think people really underestimate you Shane." He grins, laying his hand against my shoulder. I scoff at the way his comment, shaking my head. "Tell that to my math teacher, would you?" I joke, standing up.

"Seriously, you're a lot smarter than you let people think you are." He says calmly.

"I thought mom was the psychiatrist, dad." I raise my eyebrow up at him. He rolls his eyes.
"You're also a smart ass." He sighs making his way towards the door.
"Yes I am, thanks for noticing." I says as he makes his way out of the door. I hear his laugh echo from down the hall as he gets further and further away. "Go to bed!" I hear him yell making me laugh.
I slump back into my bed feeling exhausted from talking about all of that all over again. It's draining. I guess it's practice for what's to come tomorrow.

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