The Stage Manager

Bea: Staying Out of the Way

 I felt like such an idiot. There I was, actually warming up to the idea of liking Noah/him maybe liking me/asking him out, when the entire time he had actually liked Sophie. Sophie, who was a wisp of a girl with pretty hair and a pretty smile and a beautiful voice. Of course he liked her, Sophie was great. Who didn't like Sophie? I loved Sophie, she was one of my close friends. It was impossible to compete with the loveliness that was Sophie.

I couldn't even imagine what everyone else thought of me. Sure, some of them had been encouraging me to go after Noah but that must have been to boost my self esteem, maybe even Noah's too. He must have been upset when Sophie turned him down and I was a mess so they wanted to cheer us up. We were each other's consolation prizes. That was what my life had come to, how pathetic.

I didn't really hold it against any of them, I understood. Sophie hadn't known that I didn't know and meant well, I knew she did, and who could blame Noah for liking her? I couldn't. But I kept my distance from them anyway, it didn't feel right to spend lots of time with them. If I stayed away Noah would be able to convince Sophie how good of a guy he was, and he was a good guy, and she would know I was okay and she would go out with him. I could be happy for them if they were together, I really could. But I needed a break to recover from how stupid I had been.