My Journal

June 1st, 2016

I got my braces taken off this morning. Got to sleep two hours, get up, go to the orthodontist, and then get Starbucks before getting on route to school.

I signed in to the office, but it was dead silent in there. Not a single word was spoken to me or anyone else. I was very uncomfortable (aren't I always, though?).

I opened the door to French where Grace, Lily, Don, and Cassie were sitting, surrounding my table and in my seat sat Cassie. I rolled my eyes and politely asked her to move. So she got up and did her oral exam as the rest of us spoke.

Grace spent the whole period sneaking sips of my frappuccino and texting me random memes. Lily (multiple times) showed us old photos that she found hilarious. But the mere sight of them made me cringe.

I heard someone making fun of gender fluid and non binary genders. See, I'm not very much of one to talk, because sometimes, I do find jokes about the ridiculousness of the constant changes society is struggling to form to such as varying amounts of genders. But the way these kids were talking wasn't even funny, just plain disgusting.

I wanted to say something, but I wouldn't dare argue. Especially not with my stepbrother Ryan sitting right fucking there.

If there's one thing anyone reading must know about Ryan is that he could be a great politician one day. He can come up with some poorly structured arguments, but really push them. He'd push them hard enough to where most would just quit, too tired to talk to such an idiot.

He's much like the Donald trump of our family. He thinks incest is ok, he's racist, mysogonistic (I have no fucking idea how to spell that, :/) and an idiot, just taking life as a joke.

He gets yelled at so much for his piss poor grades and doesn't know when to work and when to quit, actually often times getting them confused.

I ranted to grace about it. She hates Ryan just as much as I do, because he randomly bursts out questions, usually so unrelated to the topic that the rest of us are left wondering why he felt his contribution was even necessary.

Grace and I also like to make fun of his neckbeard.

In math, we got a worksheet again. Neither Michelle nor chase had any knowledge of my braces coming off. I wanted it to be a surprise so I told Chase to meet me after fifth. He didn't. It slipped his mind.

I saw Michelle outside of our sixth period talking to Lynn. Before either could see me, Lynn walked away. Michelle freaked out and started screeching.

I honestly find it adorable when she gets excited over small things like that. Having a girl like Michelle close to you will never make you feel ugly or bad about yourself, because for any reason you can come up for hating yourself, she'll come up with three reasons why you're so great.

At lunch, we went to overlap, where I flawlessly rapped all the lyrics to kitchen sink, leaving Michelle and Cindy (a girl who sometimes comes around during overlap) in utter joy. Maybe it's because it really takes your breath away to rap so fast for so long.

Chase saw. Didn't really comment. Taught me how to say party bell in sign language on accident instead of party time. Jackson also taught us how to say furries. I already know how to say eliminate, so I slipped Michelle a joke about eliminating furries (LITERALLY A JOKE DO NOT YELL).

I'm pretty sure Jackson is one, though, just doesn't want anyone to know because the community of them is just an embarrassment.

I guess I'll never know.

Then we got food. The lunch lady at the counter (who actually happens to be my favorite) misgendered my pal Chase. I corrected her when it was my time to get my food.