My Journal

June 6th

When I walked into the school this morning, half asleep, the whole place reeked of Clorox and an array of cleaning supplies from teachers cleaning their classrooms before finals.

Michelle decided it'd be a fun time if she didn't show up, even though this is probably going to be the most important day of review before finals the rest of the week. Not my problem though.

I texted chase and asked if I could go to the auditorium with him. On my way there, I ran into August. He proceeded to tell me about Marie's boyfriend getting offended when he sent her a funny video.

"Yeah, he was like 'hey you can slide out of my girls DM's, thanks' and I was so confused. Marie and I have been friends for a long time," he told me. I said that Id talk to her about controlling her man, before opening the door and going into the theatre.

Unlike last week, when Chase was surrounded by people and busy learning sign language with Jackson, he was sitting alone one the stage, staring at his phone. He does this thing where he looks like he's trying to push the hair behind his ear, even though it's not really in the way.

It might be subconscious. When I sat down next to him, he was reading this thing. For whatever reason... It's been pretty boring.

We talked until the bell rang and he walked me to class. When I got there, Mrs. Walker was instructing the class to take out the review packets she'd handed out less than a week ago. I didn't even have it. I spent the whole period writing song lyrics in my biology notebook.

After first period, Chase and I met up again outside of his first period math. We walked to homeroom together and when I got to homeroom, Michelle wasn't there, so I occupied my time writing.

When the bell rang, my teacher said something that made me smile. Sure he was hilarious, but nothing made me happier than hearing "have a great summer". I realized this was the last full day of school. The last day I'd have to put up with my English teachers shit or my computers teacher being late. Most importantly, this was the last day I'd have to be all alone, but surrounded by people.

Now I get to seclude myself in my room and teach myself things. Last summer, I taught myself some psychology. I'm thinking about learning about astronomy this summer. Not like I'll have much to do anyway.

My mom is begging me to go to camp. But I'd rather not. Because I have so little friends, she fears I'll rarely leave the house. She's right, I probably won't. But I don't care. I'm not going to any summer camp, I'm not 10.

After homeroom, I had biology. My teacher wanted us to write a reflection about the last year. It only had to be a page. I wrote about cracking the shell I've secluded myself into and learning how to make more friends and make amends with old ones and appreciate everyone I'm lucky enough to have. I wrote about how I'm lucky to be in such a position to not only have a house, but to have my own room, have my own bed. Growing up, Marie and I had to share a bed, so I know what it's like to be a little cramped. But still, even that would be a dream to kids who have to sleep on a dirt floor in third world countries.

I wrote about how I'm still terrible at biology, but because of my stubborn mind, I just can't get into it. For the life of me, I don't think I'll ever have an A in a science class. I can sure as hell try my hardest. I put a little dry humor in there saying "you're a good teacher, but I just don't like science. In other words, it's not you, it's me.". Yes I am a comedian.

In fourth period, I spent the hour talking to Grace about memes and joking around about things that probably shouldn't really be joked about. By the end of the class, we were talking about my moms bitmoji account. Look it up its fucking hilarious.

Speaking of my mother, I'm reminded I read my mom and Sierra some of my story, mostly about yesterday's chapter about the boyfriends in the family. I told my mom how I thought wren (Sierras boyfriend) was a good guy. She didn't really have anything to say back.

During fifth period we got back some tests and quizzes. I had A's on all of them. I got to spend the remainder of the period doing nothing. I practically do nothing for a living. I was praying that I didn't have to do anything in sixth period reading either, so that I could watch Person of Interest on Netflix.

In sixth, we watched Age of Ultron and since my luck fucking sucks I had to eat lunch alone. I hope Michelle's had a fun fucking time. Sitting by myself isn't very fun, especially when I'm hungry. I don't get lunch in fear that I'll lose my seat. Also, there was no overlap, so I got to talk to Chase for like three minutes. Which is better than nothing.

Seventh period, Chase and I talked the whole time. This kid called his friend a faggot several times, enough to the point where it was pissing us both off. I hate to call people out on it, because I know that no matter what I say he's gonna say it later, but there's such thing as overuse. And it was entirely ignorant to use in a public setting, as well as inappropriate.

So we called him out. He tried to defend himself, but Chase said something straight up about how it's legitimately homophobic. Apparently, the term means "lighting homosexuals on fire".

I went to eighth period, did nothing per usual and then left, heading out to the church in the rain to meet Sierra. She wasn't even there. Chase texted me and said he was waiting for me by the lockers. Strange. We hadn't met after school in a while.

Sierra gave him a ride home and we got to pet his cute Rottweiler, and then we went home. We watching Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia until I realized/remembered that I had homework, and had to get down to business.

I worked and Felicia and I talked gossip until I had to go to eat dinner. Then the tropical storm really started to shake up. It blew a transformer at around eight o'clock. At eight fifteen, the power went out. Good thing I'd suggested purchasing flashlights for the oncoming hurricane season days before that. My mom had a huge yellow light and we all got our flashlights.

The power was supposed to come back at one thirty the next morning. I messed around a little and turned on Marie's light, so she'd wake up when it came back on.

I also saw a cockroach, but for some reason I wasn't as scared as usual. I threw something at it and he ran toward the direction of the bathroom and then to Sierras and Marie's room. Marie slept in the loft because she hated the sleeping arrangements though.

Sierra killed it with hairspray and then flushed it down the toilet. Problem solved.

Except I couldn't sleep. It felt like it was a hundred degrees in my room, I was sweating without my usual fans and AC. Losing items even for a little that you'd usually take for granted gives you a newfound appreciation for said items. It was eerily silent. Not even the buzz of the AC or my tiny electric fan. I didn't like that the only sound I could hear was the ringing in my ears.