My Journal

June 30th

Get ready everyone! Prepare yourselves because only someone as genius as I could screw up so colossally. On this day, I was so excited for a twenty one pilots concert.

Chase was taking me, which had made me a little nervous because when we were fighting he had said something along the lines about regretting taking me to NBT, a radio festival where multiple bands performed.

But anyway, I literally tripped down the stairs on the porch steps and fell on my ankle. I thought I had probably just twisted it.

We got to the concert and just got to the end of mute math, one of the opening bands. I liked it, my sisters (who went separately) did not.

The night went on and I had an amazing time. We were sitting anyway because we were the first row of the balcony and no one else stood so I didn't see a reason to.

I met Sierra and Marie because we were all meeting our parents at a hotel afterward. I gave chase a hug goodbye, thanked his dad for everything and went on my way. Except, I had to limp and I was walking by myself so everyone was staring at me.

The place was a shitshow, too. Incredibly slow. I heard someone calling me, so I stopped for a second.

Lynn and Michelle came up to my screeching excitedly. I was equally as happy, don't get me wrong. But it's hard to be excited when it feels like your ankles falling off.

"How is your ankle?" Lynn immediately asked. I was texting her before the show because she wanted to make sure I got there on time. We left way later then everyone else.

"It's fine." Of course I lied. We talked about the show and how I probably cried at some of the songs they performed. They were right though.

After we said goodbye I tried to push through large crowds of people to get to the escalators. I got as far ahead as I could before having to wait in a line... For the fucking moving stairs.

As soon as I saw Marie and Sierra I silently rejoiced. But I saw my older sisters face turn to concern.

"Is your foot really that bad?" She asks.

"I mean it's still manageable but I just can't put all my weight on it. I'm ok." This was a bad decision because we ended up walking down three flights of stairs. That's hard to do on an injured ankle.

When we got to the street, our parking garage was two blocks away. I silently regretted all of my decisions at once as Marie allowed me to use her as crutch, putting all of my weight on her.

When we got up to the sixth floor (on an elevator thank god) her car was right there. It took us twenty minutes to get out of there. And then another ten to get to the hotel.

We had to meet my mom at a restaurant across the street to get a room key. I took of my shoes and when I tried to get out the pain was so bad I nearly cried right there.

I'd only walked eight feet.

"Is it ok if I just stay in the car?" I asked, trying really really hard to hold back tears. Sierra said sure and handed me the keys.

When I finally sat down in the passenger seat, tears started streaming out of my eyes. God it hurt so bad. I've literally been cut up and down by glass shards and didn't cry, but this was really awful.

I told myself to suck it up. I needed to stop because they'd be coming back soon. And then Sierra popped up next to me trying to scare me from the passenger side window. Face again immediately turning concerned.

Marie got in the car and announced:

"Your ankle is fucked!" When she noticed also that I was crying. I laughed a little.

Sierra just drove me to the hotel, dropped me off with Marie as my helper and let us into the room. A few kind strangers asked if we needed assistance, but we politely declined.

At one point, I told Marie I could get to the room on my own. Halfway down the hall, on the verge of crying, I stopped at an ice machine. I let it fall into my hands and places it right on my ankle. It felt very nice.

I continued my trek down the hall. Some girl sitting at the end of the hall found my crippled limping laughable. At least someone's happy. I think she was talking to us at one point or another but I was so caught up in just trying to get where I was going.

We didn't have a room key. I silently cursed myself for not thinking of that sooner.

Sierra eventually got up there and let me in. There were two desk chairs which one was for me to sit in and the other was to rest my foot on. My mom brought a huge bag of ice.

I volunteered to just sleep where I was sitting. But I didn't realize how uncomfortable it was until I actually tried to rest. I didn't sleep for more than an hour. I woke up at four, tried different methods of sitting and tried to go back to sleep.

None of that worked. I got on the bed, but it was over crowded so I got on the floor. I was also freezing. I slept for an hour on the ground. But I woke up again an hour later having to pee really bad.

I couldn't get up. Fuck. After fifteen minutes of planning and careful movement, I was able to use all of the strength in my arms to basically pull myself up onto a desk chair. I limped to the bathroom and then when I was done back to the desk chair.

I sat there in pity of myself, sleepless and in pain. I tried to take an Advil but I have no idea how to take a pill. I've never taken one before, especially one so big. So I sat there for another hour until Sierras alarm on her phone went off at eight.

After a half an hour her phone went off again and she woke up.

She let me sleep in her bed until eleven.