My Journal

June 7th

Ah, exams.

The one week where you want to die the most but you are too weary of failures in life not to go to school.

The one week where, while you're not actually required to do a lot, feels like the worst struggle to get through the entire school year.

First period English exam. Finally, I could say goodbye to that teacher for what I hope to be forever. It was easy, took me a little over thirty minutes and I was the first one to hand it in.

I had the choice thereafter to take my eighth period (photoshop) exam today and leave by noon, then have none on Friday, or to take on today, leave at 9:30 and then go to school on Friday. I chose the former.

I was also done my photoshop exam very quickly. Took me the same amount of time. The air was sticky and hot, so Chases jacket (which he lent me after I got caught out in the rain and then trapped in the over air conditioned room that is first period, God bless) wasn't very useful to me at the moment.

The eighth period exam, when I walked in, no teacher was there. The only students I could see were rowdy teenage boys, picking each other up and swinging one another around like rag dolls. While funny to watch, I did want to get this over with.

When Mr. B showed up, he was yelling. I hadn't heard him yell the whole year before that. My class is so well-behaved. We're so bored and exhausted by the end of the day, I guess sitting there quietly isn't hard for us.

I went to the bathroom afterward, checking my hair (hot water wasn't working in my house last night, couldn't shower and my hair was greasy) which was pulled back into a ponytail.

When I got back, I sat for a couple of minutes. A lot of students were also done. Then I heard some kid playing lebron James kid on his phone over and over. Agitated, I grit my teeth and prayed it would be over soon. Outdated memes, I'm not here for this.

After the Mr. M (who took over for
Mr. B) said that the girls could leave the class, I went down to the lockers where I was supposed to meet Chase. Lynn, August and I were also supposed to meet at the flagpole, but Chase took priority... for some reason.

I returned Chases jacket and his portable charger. Then Lynn came in, red faced.

"Hey, I have to go to the music hall," she gave me a hug. "But I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" I nodded and she walked in the other direction. Chase and I walked out of school together. Sierra showed up so I left. She must've been tired or something because she wasn't a big talker today.

I went to the orthodontist and the man who was working on me put two god damn fingers in my mouth... Without his gloves on. I wanted to die, not only is that unclean, but it's straight up unprofessional. I got my molds taken and if you've never had that done, congratulations, you've been spared the pain and embarrassment that comes with gagging on a piece of metal that just barely fits in your mouth in front of a room full of other people (including this cute kid who I heard talking, I know he goes to my school).

I went to the mall to drop off Sierras work keys with my mother. And then I went home. Really nothing happened after that. Except Marie's boyfriend got his phone taken away. Now they can't talk 24/7. Thank god.

Late night thoughts: AHHH why do I have a crush on literally anyone who looks at me I hate myself so god damn much.... EVERYONE IS OUT OF MY LEAGUE!!!!