My Journal

June 21st

I woke up to Chase's dog, Nala licking my arm. I immediately checked my phone. 7:39. As much as I loved dogs, I wasn't extremely happy to be woken up so early. For an hour, I listened to a podcast about the sodder family.

The Sodder family was a family from what I believe was Virginia, a man named George and Jenny had been living there with their ten kids. One Christmas Eve there was a fire and five of the kids never came out. But there were no remains either. In a nutshell, George and Jenny dedicated the rest of their lives to finding the five "missing" children.

No one ever found them.

Chase's mom woke him up, coming out of his room muttering something about being impolite to his guests. I laughed.

His mother, for some reason, thought I was the funniest person alive. The night before she told me that I was witty and cute. She said one day someone would be lucky to have me.

Yeah... Ok.

We ended up going on a trip to Dunkin donuts and IKEA. The Dunkin donuts run could have been better considering his mom and stepmom started arguing, and I have a nervous tick that makes me laugh whenever I get in these types of awkward situations.

IKEA was fun, though. Chase and I ran through the interior design displays, making snapchats and talking about colors and designs we liked. We probably looked odd to outsiders, while we sat in an office display dropping a plastic toy phone into an empty mug. Trust me, it was strictly for comedy.

His mom dropped me off at home after our ikea run. I love being at Chase's house, but I was so happy to be home. I wanted to take several naps. And I did.

When my mom came home, when I tried to tell her stories about our adventures the day before, she seemed less than enthusiastic.

I just quit trying completely and called Felicia. Might as well tell someone who cared.

Chase called me later to tell me about some trouble he had with these feelings he had for someone. Someone who was already dating someone else.

I only had a problem because said person that chase had a crush on was a close friend. So I had to be sure he wasn't going to person his romantic interest. Otherwise, I'd have to tell her.

He didn't plan on it. I called Angie (an internet friend) to vent. I gave in and told her who I was in love with. She told me that my whole situation was fucked, and I should probably try to rid of those feelings right now.

How do I even get rid of feelings. There's no way.