Good Riddance || Billie Joe Armstrong

Too Much Too Fast

1994

The rain was hitting the bus causing Billie and I to be restless. I'm not a big fan of storms, and since I couldn't sleep he stayed awake to keep me company. "

"Babe you need to sleep," Billie was laying with his head on my lap and it was obvious that he was tired, "You have a show tomorrow."

I slowly ran my fingers through his short hair hoping he'd comply, but it's Billie Joe. He's probably the most stubborn man I've ever met other than my brother.

"Yeah, but I don't want to leave you out here alone," He whined through a yawn, "You're also leaving tomorrow."

A frown formed on his lips at the thought, but honestly it was time for me to head back home. I miss being in California, and I also think I'm catching the flu or something with all of this traveling.

"There's only two more weeks," I whispered with a weak smile, "You'll be home before we know it."

Ne nods and returns the smile, "I just hate that you're stuck there alone."

"Maybe I can go visit my family," I thought out loud, "It'll keep them from asking to visit all the time."

Billie closed his eyes allowing his breathing to slow before grabbing my hand and intertwining out fingers, "Am I ever going to meet them?"

"Maybe one day," I sighed as if to convince myself.

---

I ran though the new venue to find a bathroom before I lost my breakfast backstage. By this time I was used to this. If it keeps up I'm going to need some antibiotics.

"Yo Lauren," Trè was shocked to find me with my head in the toilet once again, I was in here about an hour ago, and here we are again, "Dude are you pregnant or something?"

I know he was joking but the thought made me sick again, "Dude what's going on?" I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and fell to the ground next to the toilet. Billie stood there staring at me in shock before turning and walking away as if he saw a ghost.

He was thinking the same thing I was which made me glad that he left rather than staying to talk about it. "Do you need anything? A drink? Food? .... A pregnancy test?"

I rolled my eyes at the green haired boy and waved him off so I could be alone to recuperate with the possibilities, "I'm so fucked..."

---

Billie and I sat quietly next to each other in the airport terminal as I waited for my flight to be called to board. The awkward silence was eating away at me and I won't be able to last much longer in it without screaming.

"I don't want you to go," He stated rather bluntly. "You need to go though..."

His tone of voice offended me slightly and I honestly couldn't tell if he meant to be offensive. I could be sitting here carrying his child, and he chooses now of all times to get into one of his moods? I'm scared shitless. This could ruin both of us, especially since I don't turn eighteen for another six months.

"Listen..." I began but he just cut me off by putting his hand up.

"I'm just going to go now," I stared up at him in shock as he stood up, "Call me when you land." With that he walked away.

It wasn't long before his form disappeared in the sea of people and I felt my heart shatter. Wasn't he the one who talked about wanting a kid? Yeah, this isn't ideal, but either way I could possibly be pregnant and if I am we're going to have to deal with it and the consequences.

---

I didn't call Billie when I landed. I haven't spoken a word to him since that day in the airport, and I'm beginning to believe that it's for the best. Maybe we needed this break from each other, but he was supposed to be home three days ago and I've yet to see him.

I'm not the type to panic when he's gone, but since he seemed angry when I was leaving I'm terrified that he just left me. Ugh what am I thinking? All of his stuff is here, his life is in this warehouse with or without me.

When I first got back I immediately bought three pregnancy tests, earning dirty glares from the young cashier, so I could take them when he got back. Everyday has been the same as my last couple of days with the guys. I'd wake up, get sick, eat breakfast, get sick again, and be fine for the rest of the day.

Frustrated, I grabbed the tv remote to try to occupy my thoughts but the door opening and closing caught my attention. However, I was disappointed to learn it wasn't Billie Joe Armstrong entering.